# Forum Home Renovation The Garden Shed  The Code of Practice

## Driver

There have been occasional mentions in these forums on the subject of the Code of Practice. What Code of Practice? I hear some of you say.  *The* Code of Practice, I reply. The Code of Practice as it concerns blokes, sheds and tools - and what blokes do with tools in sheds. 
The thing is, most of us know what's in the Code of Practice but I doubt that any of us have ever seen it written down. Besides, even if some of our illustrious members feel they may have seen a written version, it's my guess that the thing needs updating, right? 
And we are the right people to do the updating. Furthermore, can anyone imagine a more appropriate place for the Code to be debated, discussed and drafted? Of course not. This is the only place for such a momentously important codex to be composed. 
So, let's get into it. 
What we need is for the giant intellects that gather on these forums to bend their imaginations to the task and to contribute thoughts on what needs to be included. 
Might I suggest, as a starting point, that the following issues need to be aired (and I know well that many of them have been covered in previous forum threads and discussions but there's no harm in repeating and/or amending them herein) :Redface:  
- The shed - definitons, characteristics, type and size, degree of luxurious fit-out etc., exclusivity of occupation (ie, how to keep the sheilas, kids, pets and nosy buggers out), relative tidiness or lack thereof etc. 
- Tools - is it possible to have too many; what to do when there's not enough space; when does a collection become A Collection, what the hell is wrong with having seven routers and eight cordless drills anyway? 
- Standing and staring and/or leaning and staring, usefulness thereof and differing techniques. 
OK, that's merely a start. The idea is to discuss what needs to go into the Code of Practice and thereby, hopefully, begin to shape a version for blokes to use as a handy reference. 
Whaddaya reckon? 
Col
-

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## scooter

Like the idea, Col. 
Shed must have a couple of different chairs, for sitting & solving the worlds problems. Must have a radio for distraction when needed. Fridge is good if space permits. 
Messy & dirty is fine, keeps the missus out.  
For those of us with little kids, must have a small toolbox for 'em & a scraps bin for project materials. 
Some form of heating makes it more bearable & inviting in this winter weather. 
Decoration? Old number plates, tin signs, tool stickers, charts & info.  
Cheers....................Sean

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## mkb

Shed must contain something from a previous generation & hopefully no knowledge of what it does

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

Two or more of any type of item on a bench or shelf is a collection, or the start thereof.  This includes any broken tools, bits of lawnmowers, old blocks of wood and oddly shaped antique doodads that have no readily apparent use. 
Any item on the floor is to be considered a fitting and should be worked around and over, but never, ever, moved _except_ when being put to it's original purpose.  When finished using, it is not to be put back in its' original place, instead it should be left into the closest free area whereupon it is once again to be considered a fitting.  This also includes any broken tools, lawnmowers, obscure blocks of wood and oddly shaped antique doodads that have no readily apparent use. 
There should only be one stool or chair in the shed; that's all you need to ponder the whichness of the why... your mates' will quite happily perch on a bench or convenient wood pile to finish their brew.  Any more seats practically guarantees an audience of the fairer sex.

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## bookend

A space reserved for that special machine you haven't bought yet but hope one day to own. 
A screaming pillow so that you can express your frustration without having the missus come and investigate.

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## Wood Borer

Cobwebs 
If you have heaps of cobwebs it shows the shed is healthy (supports life forms apart from bacteria, mould and termites) 
If you can see the cobwebs (heaps of airborne dust particles) then your lungs are also collecting this muck and you need a dust collector. The better way is to use handtools for the exercise, superior work and keeps the dust down. 
They help keep the blowie population down in Summer.

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## silentC

*7. Works In Progress*
7a. At any given point in time there shall be no less than 3 works in progress. 
7b. If at any point in time there is any likelihood of the number of works in progress dropping below this threshold owing to the impending completion of one of said works, all work is to stop and the thinking position (par 3b) shall be assumed for no less than 15 minutes whilst a new work in progress is decided upon. This work must then be commenced, at least to the point of material being selected and sized, before work on any of the other works in progress may be resumed. It is not acceptable to return to the original work in progress until at least 3 more weekends have been consumed by other activities. 
7c.There must be at least one major work (at least 100 man hours; or at least $100 worth of materials; or at least one expensive single use tool purchased solely for the construction of) which remains a work in progress until the day you are carried from the shed with pennies on your eyes.

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## Harry72

Rule #1. Do not for any reason convert your shed into a bar /pool room... it is bad shed ediquite, build a bar room onto your house instead!(your shed will help you build it...)

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## Zedd

A sign on the door that says "if you hear machinary running do NOT tap me on the shoulder" 
old chlorine buckets around the place for off cuts and garbage. each machine should have its own bin, handles are optional. excess buckets should be used for wood storage or makeshift shelving... 
a 30m power lead whos job is to sit on a nail.

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## RufflyRustic

Whatever shed you have, guaranteed it is never going to be big enough.  Get used to the idea :Cool:   
Sheds and tools are not for sharing with S/HWMBO's unless, of course, you both use the shed and contents for the same purpose (rare but does happen) 
Cheers
Wendy

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## jmk89

a shed needs lots of appropriate places to store things - there should be a dedicated place for everything, but everything still seems to go in an odd collection of buckets, ice cream containers, tin cans, old lunch boxes, plastic bags etc left on the bench or a couple of shelves rather than in the place allocated to it.

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## Andy Mac

Rule number 1. There is no such thing as junk. Throwing a broken Hills hoist gearbox to the dump is not an option. It may one day be needed! 
Local rules shall apply, and no discussion will be entered into! Such things as: tools being used for tasks other than that which they were intended (ie. old chisel for opening paint tins); radio station tuning changes according day; choice of bevvie (ie. beer in summer, plonk in winter); latest position for safety glasses; and the use of wood bench for metal work and vice versa will be solely at the discretion of shed owner. 
Good thread!! :Biggrin:   :Rolleyes:

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## DanP

A half rotten mouse sleeping in an ear muff.

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## Markw

> A screaming pillow so that you can express your frustration without having the missus come and investigate.

  A screaming pillow :eek:  :eek:  :eek:  :eek:  :eek:  
Oh NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO 
If I'm going to yell "F**K" cause I just hit my thumb with a hammer, I don't want some nancy pillow to stop the sound. Make the shed soundproof if you have kids with sensitive ears (this means less than 5 year olds cause once they get to school they'll teach you some new words). This also helps with heating. 
But no pillows - Pillows are for holding bearings in a shed!

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## Bluegum

The shed is the domain of the owner/s and they can set whatever code of practice they choose.  In my shed if i have power tools running then I excpect my visitors to don the PPE as well.   My grandfather had a spare of everything in his shed.  My grandmother thought he may have had a spare wife down there.   i do know where i get my hording addiction from though.

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## Wild Dingo

Great thread!! And I might say very good timing! If we can get this up and running I will make a nice sign with the code of practice on it to hang in some spare obscure bare patch of wall in the shed 
The bench should never be cleaned but should always be covered with something screws offcuts tools gobs of paint glue and such 
The floor shall never be swept the 2ft thick mat of sawdust offcuts nails and screws are seen to be charector building and should only be cleaned off to a depth of 1ft only upon loss of child wife or other venturous personage who should know better than to venture into said shed 
All sheds should contain at least one fridge for cold storage of beverages for visiting shed connisoors and wood butchers 
One stool only... buggar visitors they got bums sit on a log bench floor whatever its MY shed... GET OVER IT 
The shed will ALWAYS be too small... GET OVER IT 
There will NEVER be enough tools... GET OVER IT 
Wendy will NEVER get me to wear that red leather outfit... MOVE ON!! 
ooh oops wrong thread  :Shock:   
ahem... where was I? damn lost the thread of thought or was that chain of thought? red leather of thought? DAMN YOU WOMAN!!! :eek:  :Tongue:

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## Cliff Rogers

It does NOT have to be a regular round thing with a bulls eye. (Pic of MIL or Ex work just as good) 
Must be mounted in a suitable safe place somewhere within 6ft of a bin. 
Should have a back board big enough to accommodate your throwing skills. 
Used for snapped drill bits, stripped screws, farqups, balls of 2nd hand masking tape, offcuts & stubby twist tops.  :Biggrin:

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## Driver

To everyone who has contributed ideas so far: Goodonya! The quality of your contributions and the thought processes behind them are tributes to the sagacity and erudition of the membership of these forums. 
Keep the ideas flowing, boys and girls. They're all valid and they demand inclusion in the Code of Practice. 
I'm trying to put this together in a decent layout, incorporating all the ideas that have been contributed up to now. I may have something to show you tomorrow. 
Col

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## Cliff Rogers

Where do you keep them in your shed Col? :confused:  :Biggrin:

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## echnidna

But I'd rather do it than practise  :Biggrin:

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## MarkV

Sadly Gents I feel that this forum is not secure enough to enable me to post what I feel to be the essential items in any proposed Code of Pratice.  :Tongue:  loose lips sink ships and all that ey wot ??

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## echnidna

> Sadly Gents I feel that this forum is not secure enough to enable me to post what I feel to be the essential items in any proposed Code of Pratice.  loose lips sink ships and all that ey wot ??

  Please feel free to post,
after all this is not the boating section :Biggrin:

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## MarkV

Boating section  :Tongue:  Most excellent  :Smilie:

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## Bodgy

My shed, my rules. 
I may well be pussy whipped in the house, I accept this for the sake of a quiet life. 
Not in the shed!

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## Driver

> My shed, my rules. 
> I may well be pussy whipped in the house, I accept this for the sake of a quiet life. 
> Not in the shed!

  Well, exactly!

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## Cliff Rogers

Horse whip, yeap.
Bull whip, yeap.
Pussy whip????  :Rolleyes:  
Wongo, would that be some kind of a puree?  :Biggrin:

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## Driver

> Where do you keep them in your shed Col? :confused:

  Ginge, me old mate, I keep 'em next to the fridge, ready to be exercised when I'm having a coldie. :Wink:

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## Cliff Rogers

Arh, you mean like Grolsch & the beugel?  :Wink:   
(look them up in Wikki)  :Biggrin:

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

Walls and roof do not a shed make.  Where the sawdust falls, it's "in the shed."  
...and what good's a Code of Practice without fine print?   :Rolleyes:   Stuff like: 
Installing a safety guard on a machine you've used for years without one is just begging for trouble. 
The quickest route to the hospital often involves removing a safety guard. 
No matter the shed or the rules, remember this: Transgressors will be persecuted.

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## Cliff Rogers

> .... Transgressors will be persecuted.

  Is that anything like p'd upon?:confused:

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## Robbo

All flat surfaces no matter how narrow, wide or long are deemed to be storage or work areas, this includes lathes, machines (table saws etc), cabinets or tables being built and the mates car bonnet if he stays too long.

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## jmk89

> ... and the mates car bonnet if he stays too long.

  make that ".. and the mate (or any other visitor) or his car bonnet...." :Biggrin:

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## RufflyRustic

> ....snip.....
> Wendy will NEVER get me to wear that red leather outfit... MOVE ON!! 
> ooh oops wrong thread   
> ahem... where was I? damn lost the thread of thought or was that chain of thought? red leather of thought? DAMN YOU WOMAN!!! :eek:

     :Biggrin:   
If 'red leather'  and such is going to be hung on the walls of sheds, consider rigging an emergency cover for them.  Beware the  who finds them, doesn't like them and gets rid of them for you and anything else in her way at that time.....  
cheers
Wendy

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## Driver

OK. Here's a first draft. It's quite a long document. No apologies for that. This is important stuff and it contains contributions from many very serious intellects (see earlier posts).  
I've protected it so that if you add anything the additions can be tracked. However, I suggest that you simply post any suggested additions into this thread. 
This is a work in progress. All suggested additions and amendments are welcome - indeed they are encouraged. This is our Code of Practice. Let's make it a good one! 
Col

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## Driver

> All flat surfaces no matter how narrow, wide or long are deemed to be storage or work areas, this includes lathes, machines (table saws etc), cabinets or tables being built and the mates car bonnet if he stays too long.

  
Sorry Robbo, missed that one  :Shock:  . However, it's an excellent contribution and it will be added to the Code!  :Smilie:

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## Pat

Driver, a concise document. You should be rewarded for your efforts!

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## Andy Mac

Mate that is truly a document of erudite wisdom and perception! I picked up only one spelling mistake (a "look" instead of "like"), but really a top effort! well done. 
Now to have it printed and laminated...but where to put the thing...it won't fit under the "Good Shed" award, I'm not moving the Angelina Jolie calendar, and maybe I don't drink VB anymore, but the advertising placard is sacred! :Biggrin:    
Cheers,

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## Cliff Rogers

Top effort.  :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:  
Appendix A, item 7, 4th word should be 'never'

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## Felder

A seriously impressive document, Col - a real credit to yourself and the Forum. :Biggrin:  
Now I know that we aren't supposed to get into too much religious discussion here, but..................I think I've found a new bible..... :Wink:

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

> Is that anything like p'd upon?:confused:

  Exactly.  "You push my buttons, I'll punch yours."   
My only problem now is finding a sheet of timber big enough to rout the Code into.  I wonder if an outside wall counts as a plaque?

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## Glenn_M

Driver, whilst I totally agree in spirit I have one small problem....the ban on 
"Any drink containing cherries."   I'd like to apply for an exemption. My other waste of time, sorry hobby, is brewing and a favourite brew is a Belgian Lambic style beer of which cherries are a critical component. 
Unfortunately some other Lambics also contain fruit of other varieties but I swear they are never served with umbrellas! 
So can I have an exemption or am I covered by the fact that it's a beer and therefore allowed under 8.3.6 Blokey Drinks? 
Cheers,
Glenn

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## Driver

> I'd like to apply for an exemption. My other waste of time, sorry hobby, is brewing and a favourite brew is a Belgian Lambic style beer of which cherries are a critical component.

  Glenn  
I'm not the arbiter of issues to do with the Code of Practice. I have merely participated - along with other august members of these forums - in drafting it. How a bloke should  interpret the Code is a matter for the bloke - in this case - you. So, rather than reply, I will refer you to the Code of Practice :Redface:   
para 3 - *Definitions*  
sub para - 3.1 [*Bloke*- a bloke is the owner, occupier and user of his shed. 
and 
sub para 3.2 *Shed* - a shed is the domain, demesne and realm of a bloke. 
(One way to interpret these sections of the Code would be to say that what a bloke does in his shed is - up to a point - up to him).   

> So can I have an exemption or am I covered by the fact that it's a beer and therefore allowed under 8.3.6 Blokey Drinks?

  Looks to me like you've answered your own question, mate. I will, however, take issue with an inaccuracy in your quoting the relevant paragraph from the Code. You use the word 'Blokey'.  
Banish this abhorrent term from your lexicon, son!  
It's a word used by women to denigrate blokes and our activities. The correct term is 'Blokely'. More accurate, I think you'll agree. And it possesses the virtue that you're unlikely to hear a woman use it. 
'Blokely'. Practise it: 'Blokely'. That's it! All together now: *'BLOKELY!!!!'* 
Thanks for the question, Glenn. You've given a practical demonstration of the value of putting some shape to the Code of Practice. Goodonya! 
Col

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## Driver

> Top effort.    
> Appendix A, item 7, 4th word should be 'never'

  
Ginger 
It's a rare day when you and I disagree but mate, read that section again. If the word 'never' was to be inserted in place of 'ever' we'd have a double negative. To whit :Redface:  
"No bloke shall *never* be required etc ..." 
Tsk, tsk. My old English teacher would revolve about her vertical axis, mate! 
Toodle pip! 
Col

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## Bodgy

Dear Aunty Agony Driver 
I am in a quandry. I have always thought of myself as a non PC, non black armband, un metro sexual, rude, crass slob. As such I felt a warm kinship to your 'Charter of Shed Rights' 
However, I have just experienced a stabbing pang of angst.  *I often burn incence in the shed, when alone with my tools and the wood.* 
Have I turned into a pillow biter, nascient politician,  limp wristed Chardonnay socialist, PC dyke, Caroline Jones, Richard Jones, local Government councillor, Kofi Annan or a Public Servant soccer fan? Has Fat Kim got the hots for me? 
Is this deviant sort of revanchism OK with the blokes? I could seek treatment! 
Please advise.

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## scooter

Great job Col !  :Biggrin:  
Love Appendix A Rule 24  :Tongue:   
Cheers.................Sean

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## RufflyRustic

The code doesn't mention Red Leather or Darkside Sisters.  I think a little disclaimer somewhere might be needed.......

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## Cliff Rogers

> .... 
> "No bloke shall *never* be required etc ..." 
> ...

  Oops, read it as "A bloke shall ever be required etc...." 
Sorry.  :Biggrin:

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## Cliff Rogers

> The code doesn't mention Red Leather or Darkside Sisters. I think a little disclaimer somewhere might be needed.......

  This is a Code for a bloke's shed, you need a Code for a sheila's shed.  :Biggrin:

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## Driver

> Dear Aunty Agony Driver 
> I am in a quandry. I have always thought of myself as a non PC, non black armband, un metro sexual, rude, crass slob. As such I felt a warm kinship to your 'Charter of Shed Rights'

  Er, that's 'Code of Practice', Bodge - and it's not mine, it's ours (see para 2 - _Drafting Committee_ - with its references to a nationwide body of experts etc)    

> *I often burn incence in the shed, when alone with my tools and the wood.*

  Tsk, tsk. However, the Code says (para 4 - _Purposes_ sub para 4.2 - _The purpose of a shed_)   'The purpose of a shed is to provide an environment and territory wherein a bloke has total and complete dominion and control.'   

> Have I turned into a pillow biter, nascient politician,  limp wristed Chardonnay socialist, PC dyke, Caroline Jones, Richard Jones, local Government councillor, Kofi Annan or a Public Servant soccer fan?

  Possibly.   

> Has Fat Kim got the hots for me?

  Couldn't say. I'm not privy to the Beezer's innermost (or even his outermost) urges, thankfully.   

> Is this deviant sort of revanchism OK with the blokes? I could seek treatment! 
> Please advise.

  Whaddaya reckon, blokes?

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## Ian007

I think I speak for Harry72,Tankstand as well as myself can we please get Jack Daniels added to the list of allowed drinks under 8.3.6  
While I think about it I drink my Jacks with coke, this has bubbles. 
I think we need to add  
"Spirits mixed with Coke, no poofter cola crap OK, only the real thing will do, premixed cans are permissable" 
Thanks Ian :Smilie:

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## silentC

> Whaddaya reckon, blokes?

  I think as long as you ask "what's that poofy pong?" whenever another bloke comes in, it will probably be OK. You could blame the missus - although that might be construed as a breach by giving her access in the first place - it's probably a lesser offence. 
To be safe, I think the best thing to do is to build yourself a gas fired furnace and torch the stuff properly, then melt a few kilos of empty beer cans for the hell of it. Kudos if you can set fire to something expensive in the process.

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## RufflyRustic

Okey Dokey - One Sheila Code coming up...... Sometime...... :Smilie:   
cheers
Wendy

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## Driver

> I think I speak for Harry72,Tankstand as well as myself can we please get Jack Daniels added to the list of allowed drinks under 8.3.6

  Don't see the problem, Ian. I would refer you to sub para 8.3.6.7 :Redface:   'Anything that you can ignite ....' 
Cousin Jack would qualify, surely? 
Incidentally, thanks to some good work from, amongst others, the axe-wielding mongrel, I have been able to amend and augment the Code, strengthening portions of it. A copy of the latest version is attached, with revisions highlighted in yellow. 
Further amendments and revisions will be incorporated as you all bend your massive intellects to the task.  
All contributions are welcomed. 
Wendy, I admire your resolve. A Sheila's Code would be a tough one. For a start, how do you spell that noise you all make whenever you see something cute?  :Wink:   
Toodle Pip! 
Col

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## Cliff Rogers

> Don't see the problem, Ian. I would refer you to sub para 8.3.6.7  'Anything that you can ignite ....' 
> Cousin Jack would qualify, surely? 
> ....

  _or that makes your eyes water_

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## RufflyRustic

> snip.....
> Wendy, I admire your resolve. A Sheila's Code would be a tough one. For a start, how do you spell that noise you all make whenever you see something cute?   
> Toodle Pip! 
> Col

  Yep, it will be tough but fun  :Biggrin:   
That noise, now what noise would that be:confused: . I really don't think I make whatever noise that might be.  Do I? ............... 
cheers
Wendy

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

Hmmm...  here's a problem I've had in the past.  Interesting times, but I'm glad they're long gone.  Now I'm wondering how the  Code would be applied, if it could...  
5 blokes in a block of flats persuade the body corporate to erect a shed for shared use. 
While standing around in the shed having a few brews, one of 'em comments to the others that his SWMBO's complaining about how much time he spends in "his" shed.  The other blokes immediately take umbrage to this. 
The first, a woodie, says "Your shed?  More than half the tools in here are mine!  So if it's anyones, it's mine." 
The second, a mechanic, comes back with "Hold on...  I may not have as many tools as you, nor take up as much space, but my tools cost twice as much as all of yours put together." 
The 3rd, a general handyman, quickly  retorted "Maybe so, but for all that you blokes have all those fancy tools, whenever I come out to see what you're doing you're always using MY tools!  Mine are the most used, my shed.  Nyaah!"  (All handymen seem to be a bit twisted.  Trade-envy, I think.   :Rolleyes:  ) 
The bloke who made the original comment responds with "Yeah, but the Missus has a point.  I spend more time out here than all you blokes put together.  After all, none of you have to put up with her.  I'm practically living here.  BTW, we really need to add a dunny." 
The last...  ermm... guy, a limp-wristed hair-dresser who'd been sitting back quietly, sipping his fizzy pink drink (complete with umberella) finally chipped in with "Yeth.  But it'th my bar refrigerator."  (That's a beer 'frig to normal blokes.  For our northernmost brothers, it's an esky with a power cord.) 
Now, who wins this argument? 
.
.
.
.
.
.
The way I see it, the last is the clincher.  At least, until the 'frig is empty.  After all, the question was "who wins this argument" not "who wins the (empty, really) title of 'owner'?"   :Biggrin:  
But as far as the nominal title of "owner" of the shed goes, who would win assuming we could apply the Code of Practice?  Anyone?  Or should they all just be given a clip around the ear and the hair-dresser sent to the sin bin for failing to meet the minimum standards of blokeliness?  (But surely he'd have special exemption; he *does* own the beer 'frig after all!  :eek:  Well... until after the other four have all chipped in to buy another 'frig, anyway.  :Wink: )

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## Dan

From appendix A   

> 25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

  Not sure I can agree with this one. As the owner of  an XR8 Falcon ute I can say without a doubt that the sight of a girlfriend driving said vehicle can be "good". To explain any further could render me unblokley. 
When Lee Kernigan was asked in an interview if he allowed his wife to drive his kitted out Land Cruiser trayback, his reply was that he encouraged it! This was said with a large grin and proves I'm not the only one. 
Besides, how else do you get home from a party when you're pi$$ed?

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## Driver

Skew 
Tough one, mate! 
However, the Code is here to help us to resolve these difficult philosophical issues. Here's my suggested rationale, based upon a glass of red and a hard look at the Code. 
I started at para 3 _Definitions_, sub para 3.1 _Bloke_ 
" - a bloke is the owner, occupier and user of his shed. For further elucidation .....' etc (references to the Appendices). 
The key point here is that right at the beginning of the Code, the shed's owner is defined as a bloke.  
Problem: we have 5 (five) blokes all claiming ownership. So - who is the most blokely? 
Aha! The Code supplies a ready solution. Refer to Appendix B - _Blokeness Quotient_. Get them all to take the test, measure their comparative Blokeness Quotients and the most blokely bloke is, by definition, the owner. In the event of a tie, the contenders will be required to examine some ancient tool (see para 6 - _Tools_, sub para 6.2.1 - .... _a tool that has no known use_ ....) originally belonging to an ancestor of one of the less blokely former contenders. The bloke who comes up with the most plausible explanation for its application and use, wins. 
How's that? 
Col - (who is open to well-articulated and referenced argument).

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## Driver

> To explain any further could render me unblokley.

  
Mate! There you have it. You're toying with a possible Code Violation. _(Insert noisy intake of breath)._ Don't know quite how to advise you. Ve-e-ery tricky.:confused:  
Col

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## Dan

An example 
Angelina Jolie (in full Tomb Raider kit) askes if she can drive your Land Rover. Yes or No? 
Obviously the example is extreme but it shows that there may need to be some sort of sliding scale applied, or possibly make it the individuals decision without the risk of a code violation.

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## Driver

Mate, if Angelina Jolie wants to drive my Land Rover then bugger the Rules of Blokeness, the Blokeness Quotient, the Code of Practice and you bloody lot too! 
I'm yours Angelina, so's me bloody Land Rover! Yee Haaaaa!

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## Dan

One aspect that hasn't been covered in the code is shed attire. For me this usually involves either King Gee or Ruggers shorts, T-shirt and thongs for summer, with the addition of a Flannelette shirt for winter. What say the rest of the committee?

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## Driver

> One aspect that hasn't been covered in the code is shed attire. For me this usually involves either King Gee or Ruggers shorts, T-shirt and thongs for summer, with the addition of a Flannelette shirt for winter. What say the rest of the committee?

  
Good thinking. Let's have your fully codified contribution while I stand on a corner - dangling me car keys and waiting for Angelina.

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## doug the slug

> ... shed attire. For me this usually involves either King Gee or Ruggers shorts,

  I dont like ruggers!!!! i hate ruggers!!!!! 
the pockets are just wrong! all the change falls out of your pockets whenever you sit down

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## Cliff Rogers

Attire comes under the bit about the bloke doing whatever he likes in his own shed. :Cool:   
Maybe something _could_ be said about the attire of _visitors_ but I think we risk making the document a horse choker if we to go as far as stating the bloody obvious like NO PINK TUTUS (unless you are Angelina Jolie  :Rolleyes:  ) :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

Even if Angelina Jolie was hanging over my shoulder at the lathe,I'd still insist on a minimum dress requirement of ear-muffs & dust-mask/respirator. 
Hmmm...  come to that, in her case I'd be a very happy chappy if it was the maximum dress requirement too.   :Rolleyes:

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## Dan

> Let's have your fully codified contribution while I stand on a corner - dangling me car keys and waiting for Angelina.

  Ok, try this. 
9.  Shed clothing shall consist of pants and shirt, footwear optional with a minimum standard being thongs, boots are ok, underwear is discouraged.  
9.1 Materials 
9.1.1 Clothing shall be primarily cotton (preferably drill or flanellette) with  small amounts of polyester allowable in T-shirts. 
9.1.2 Boots shall be made from leather.
9.1.4 Thongs shall be rubber and of the double plug variety. 
9.2 Colour
9.2.1 Clothing may be any colour other than pink and should be at least one shade lighter than the original colour.   
9.3 Prohibited items
9.3.1 Trucker Caps, Berets, Scarves, Nylon Tracksuits and any item that causes concern from either yourself or significant other when contaminated with paint or glue. 
9.4 Exemptions
9.4.1 Nylon football shorts may be worn only if you were a member of a team or have supported a team for a period of no less than five years.
9.4.2 Sports type shoes may be worn by those who experience significant discomfort without them.
9.4.2 For Blokes in cold climates a woolen jumper and beanie is allowable with a preference given to moth eaten items.

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

Errrmmm...  Dan?  Does a bandanna count as a scarf?   
Hint: the answer better bloody well be NO, unless you wanna meet the shop dog.  :mad :Wink 1: )  :Tongue:  
Oh... and what's the difference between a trucker cap and a forum cap, besides the choice of advertising?   :Rolleyes:

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## Waldo

G'day, 
Shed attire, well for me that counts as jeans with at least one hole on the left leg of my jeans (somehow all my jeans I wear in the shed wear a large hole on the left leg :confused: ), shirt and now jumpers with paint all over them (all your fault Skew) 
And now my shed attire has become usual garb for when I'm working my day job, it's only when I see clients that I look respectable. My shed attire also transends to going down to Bunnies or other places.  
So, is this corelation of shed attire and lack of caring what the general public thinks of how we dress reflect back on us or do we really care what they think? After all you can't judge a book by its cover. 
A great document Driver, worthing of printing and for putting up for general reading thereof when others visit the legal owner of said shed who don't understand what a "shed" is and the rituals and rites that accompany said shed and have ownership thereof. I shall email said document to my FIL for a stir  :Biggrin:  , anything to stir FIL is worthy of such things) 
May I add one point somewhere in your document, to the effect that owners of sheds and all that resides in it and by this ownership of a shed have unlimited rites of visitation rites to said shed at any given time of day for any length of time regardless of anything else that needs to be done, even be it for the purpose of leaning to ponder and think.

----------


## Skew ChiDAMN!!

> Shed attire, well for me that counts as jeans with at least one hole on the left leg of my jeans (somehow all my jeans I wear in the shed wear a large hole on the left leg :confused: ), shirt and now jumpers with paint all over them (all your fault Skew)

   :Biggrin:   You have a problem with waterproofing?  It's a good way to determine which paints & finishes have penetrating power though, innit?  If it falls off my clothes in the wash, it doesn't go anywhere near my wood.  :Wink:     

> And now my shed attire has become usual garb for when I'm working my day job, it's only when I see clients that I look respectable. My shed attire also transends to going down to Bunnies or other places.  
> So, is this corelation of shed attire and lack of caring what the general public thinks of how we dress reflect back on us or do we really care what they think? After all you can't judge a book by its cover.

  It's called "a cunning plan."  Now that your office is in the shed (how's it going, BTW?) if you were wearing a zoot-suit during working hours it's a dead give-away to SWMBO when you slip a few mins of shed time in.   But once she gets used to seeing you getting about the office in your shed clothes, well...  I can't very well imagine her getting upset about a spot of white-out on your flannel shirt.   :Rolleyes:   
Accusations of "You've been working in the office when you should be playing in the shed!"??  I don't think so, Ollie.   :Biggrin:

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## Waldo

> "You've been working in the office when you should be playing in the shed!"??  I don't think so, Ollie.

  G'day Skew, 
Little did I relaise that when SWMBO told me to thence out of house and build office in shed that it would open up so many possibilities. 
As far as progress goes: the external walls are on, ceiling is up and fully plastered, 2 coats of undercoat are done on celing as of tonight and top coat goes on tomorrow. 
Currently working out colour schemes and fittings and about to get the sparky in.

----------


## Ian007

> Don't see the problem, Ian. I would refer you to sub para 8.3.6.7  'Anything that you can ignite ....' 
> Cousin Jack would qualify, surely?  
> Col

  A point to note, a mixed drink will not ignite and jacks does not burn very  well, I know I tried last night. 
and Beer has bubbles so does that make it a chaps drink??

----------


## Cliff Rogers

Don't be so bloody picky or you'll get ya self chucked out of the shed..... 
Beer is beer. 
It doesn't matter if it has bubbles or was made from cherries, it is still beer.  (just don't get caught with one of those little umbrellas in it unless you are horribly sheyetfaced drunk or looking for a fight. :Cool:  )
Shut up & drink it.  :Biggrin:

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## Driver

Thanks to everyone who is contributing to this thread. All your contributions are very welcome and they are providing useful debate and discussion. 
To answer some of your concerns :Redface:  
Dan – great work on the issue of clothing (aka shed attire). Some of your suggestions are very worthwhile and some perhaps a bit too narrowly-defined. However, they will certainly be heavily featured in the next set of revisions. (No sign of Angelina yet, by the way, I think she might have stood me up). 
Skew – a bandanna shall not constitute a scarf – that’s got to be a given. Bandannas are blokely attire, no question. Scarves are worn by chaps. 
Waldo – you raise an important issue re visitation rights – this will be included. 
Ian007 – Don’t burn it, mate. Drink it. And Cliff’s got a point : beer is beer. The fact that beer is so manifestly a prominent part of the list of Blokely drinks (sub para 8.3.6) overrides any doubts about it’s alleged status as a Chap’s drink (sub para 8.3.7). It may contain bubbles but bubbles in beer are demonstrably and obviously blokely bubbles. The kind of bubbles being referred to in sub para 8.3.7.4 are similar in nature to the balloons Ozzy Osbourne meant when he said:   *“Balloons, Sharon? ####in’ balloons? I can’t have ####in’ balloons on stage with me, Sharon! I’m supposed to be the Prince of ####in’ Darkness!”* 
The latest revisions will be incorporated and an updated version of the Code of Practice issued – probably tomorrow. 
Keep ‘em coming! 
Toodle pip! 
Col

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## Waldo

G'day Driver, 
Look forward to the next revision.  :Cool:   
This should be included in Best of the Best, and seconders to pass my motion?

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## Dan

> Dan  great work on the issue of clothing (aka shed attire). Some of your suggestions are very worthwhile and some perhaps a bit too narrowly-defined.

  Yeah, got a bit carried away, edit as you see fit. :Wink:     

> No sign of Angelina yet, by the way, I think she might have stood me up.

  I think she's temporarily distracted by that Brad Pitt clown (bet he doesn't even have a shed:eek: ). It's only a matter of time mate. :Biggrin:

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## doug the slug

> Bandannas are blokely attire, no question. Scarves are worn by chaps.

  and what do we call the ones who wear cravats?:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

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## Auld Bassoon

> G'day Driver, 
> Look forward to the next revision.   
> This should be included in Best of the Best, and seconders to pass my motion?

  Seconded!  Definitely - and a Gold Star to Driver!

----------


## doug the slug

> This should be included in Best of the Best, and seconders to pass my motion?

  Best of the best? i think it deserves greater accolades than that! put it in the Forum Rules

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## Driver

OK. Here's the latest update. I've added an  an Index page at the front and an Acknowledgements page at the back.  
In the body of the text, the additions and amendments are highlighted in yellow and they include :Redface:  
- A very important addition to sub-para 4.2 - _The purpose of the shed_. 
- A new paragraph on _Visiting Rights_ (sub-para 5.12). 
- A vitally important section on _Cock-ups_ in para 7. 
- A whole new section on _Bloke's Attire_ (para 10) 
Unless anyone can come up with something vital that we might inadvertently have missed, I reckon we're close to having a finished Code of Practice. Whaddaya reckon? 
Col

----------


## Driver

Well that's interesting. It seems that one of the immutable Laws of Shed Physics also applies to the drafting of Codes of Practice. 
I've just found the compulsory cock-up (in accordance with sub para 7.4 - _Cock-ups_). Well, two of them actually.  :Shock:   :Rolleyes:  So I am exercising my rights under sub para 7.4.3.2 and claiming a design feature. 
However, here's a further revision, including a section on _"A place for everything_ ... etc" and a corrected typo on the Acknowledgements page. 
Toodle Pip! 
Col

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## DanP

Blokes will not make physical contact with each other in any way in the shed unless,  in the case of inadvertant contact during the passing of a tool or beverage.in the case of first meeting a new bloke where the shaking of hands is permitted.in the case of medical emergency and only by suitably qualified paramedics.  All other blokes present will stand to one side and utter appropriate sledging regarding the soft penile nature of the bloke being treated.In the case of another mate entering the shed, he may only be greeted by a slight nod of the head and a barely audible grunt of acknowledgement.

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## DanP

A bloke will use up every sharp tool in the shed including those not really appropriate to the task at hand, prior to sharpening any tool.  The bloke will only then sharpen said tools on an "as required" basis.

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## DanP

Each Code of Practice should have a dictionary or glossary of terms included.  My first suggestion for the dictionary is:  *Mallet:*    Any item close at hand with sufficient heft to complete the task.

----------


## Robbo

Day off Dan? :Biggrin:  *OR* better yet a slow day at work? :Biggrin:

----------


## DanP

On carers leave. 
MrsP had an operation Tues so had to take some time off.  :Wink:

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## DanP

Where a bloke is required to leave the environs of the shed, he should do so wearing a nail bag and with a blunt and half chewed chippies pencil behind his ear.  Whilst out of the sanctity of the shed, he should stand and stare meaningfully on several occasions.  This is to convince curious onlookers of his busy nature and deter any thoughts of giving the bloke an unblokely task.

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## DanP

> 16.   Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (ie, can explain offside or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

  However, any woman who shows superior knowledge on any matter whatsoever, shall be banned forthwith.

----------


## Driver

This is good work, Dan. It closes off a few gaps in the Code's provisions. Your recommendations will be incorporated into the next update. 
However, I reckon you might have opened a whole new field of endeavour in suggesting a glossary. Worthwhile, there can be little doubt. But I wonder if it doesn't need another document, separate from the Code of Practice. 
Col

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## Driver

It occurs to me that if you want to print a version of the Code, it might be more convenient in A5 size rather than A4. 
The smaller format will sit handily alongside your copy of Neil's seminal work: "A Polishers Handbook". Here's what the two formats look like alongside Neil's book. 
When I post the next update, I'll include separate files for each of the two sizes.  
The front covers with the illustration will have to be posted as separate files because they would otherwise exceed the 100 KB limit for attachments. 
Col

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## Zedd

Mate,  
"Code of Practice" - hereby known as C.O.P. 
Appendix A & B: is this original input by the ubeat team ? if previous knowledge is drawn upon it should be appropriately indexed, attributed and referenced.... we would not want the rules to be unable to be held up in court due to plaguarism... see recent court case of Metallica v's Kaza - viz pirating, royalties & illegal distribution. 
I think appendix c should disappear - ive seen it elsewhere on the net. It adds no value to "shed-iquette..." if this is truely a "C.O.P." drawn up by the ubeaut team then there should be no plagarism, or, if previous knowledge is drawn upon it should be appropriately indexed, aatributed and referenced.... 
additionally, *with due respect* - shouldnot feedback from female bretheren be discounted? Perhaps a seperate sub-section for blokette's with thier own rules of operations - eg "Whiff of Lavender". After all "bloke" is the masculine pronoun. (No offence ladies...) 
A formal "cut-off date" should be published whereby input shall not be accepted for publication into "Issue 1.0" - further input should be considered for subsequent issues of the C.O.P. 
I suggest some of our "legal team" be bought into this discussion prior to finalisation of first issue. May I suggest Boban Esq. ? Unless legal ratification has been obtained then this can be no more than a rough draft to be "considered by the committee." 
Once we have ratification I will take an action point to dress the document in correct "Mickeysoft word" format following formal documentation guidelines. 
sincerely, 
Zed (committee member) :Smilie:

----------


## Driver

> Appendix A & B: is this original input by the ubeat team ? if previous knowledge is drawn upon it should be appropriately indexed, attributed and referenced.... we would not want the rules to be unable to be held up in court due to plaguarism... see recent court case of Metallica v's Kaza - viz pirating, royalties & illegal distribution.

  No – it’s not original input from the team, it was drawn from various different emails that have been circulating for years. You make a good point about appropriate attribution and referencing, though. I think if we do something to cover that, we won’t face any issues over plagiarism – even of the bubonic variety  :Wink:  .   

> I think appendix c should disappear - ive seen it elsewhere on the net. It adds no value to "shed-iquette..." if this is truely a "C.O.P." drawn up by the ubeaut team then there should be no plagarism, or, if previous knowledge is drawn upon it should be appropriately indexed, aatributed and referenced....

  See above re attribution etc. I would prefer to leave it in but I’ll be happy to have others comment on its inclusion.    

> additionally, *with due respect* - shouldnot feedback from female bretheren be discounted? Perhaps a seperate sub-section for blokette's with thier own rules of operations - eg "Whiff of Lavender". After all "bloke" is the masculine pronoun. (No offence ladies...)

  Zed, mate, you do like a good stir, don’t you?  :Rolleyes:  Wendy has already said she wants to publish a Sheila’s version. I reckon that would be a worthwhile endeavour. What do other committee members think?   

> A formal "cut-off date" should be published whereby input shall not be accepted for publication into "Issue 1.0" - further input should be considered for subsequent issues of the C.O.P. 
> I suggest some of our "legal team" be bought into this discussion prior to finalisation of first issue. May I suggest Boban Esq. ? Unless legal ratification has been obtained then this can be no more than a rough draft to be "considered by the committee."

  Now you’re really beginning to sound like a committee man. :eek:  This is a classic recipe for doing nothing!   

> Once we have ratification I will take an action point to dress the document in correct "Mickeysoft word" format following formal documentation guidelines.

  I have no idea what this last bit means. It reads like it was lifted right out of a public service memorandum! Do you want to provide a translation? :Tongue:   
Col

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## Driver

How about something like this on the Acknowledgements page :Redface:   *Source Material*  _The Drafting Committee is grateful to the various anonymous creative minds who provided the brilliant original work on the following  
Appendix A – Rules of Blokeness. 
Appendix B – Blokeness Quotient.  
Appendix C – Because I Am A Bloke. 
These important documents have been circulating as emails for some years. The Drafting Committee is proud to have an opportunity to include them here and to acknowledge their original creators – even though the nature of generally distributed emails makes it impossible for that acknowledgement to be anything other than anonymous._

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## Waldo

G'day Driver, 
Having read through Appendix C, I shall refer to Zed's comment and raise my hand to second his motion.  
I would like to pass a motion that the Code of Practice be passed and steps taken to impliment it for general publication and distribution within this Forum forthwith. 
A top effort Driver.  :Cool:

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## JDub

I like appendix C  :Biggrin:   :Cool:   
Gave me a good chuckle, just because you have read it elsewhere does not deem it unworthy of inclusion IMO. Others may not have seen it or even if they have would like to refer back. I know I will place it on the fridge and refer SWMBO to it from time to time.
"see the list on the fridge honey...." as I struggle to get her out the door as we are late for yet another dinner. 
Great work by all  :Smilie:  
Joel

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## Zedd

> I have no idea what this last bit means. It reads like it was lifted right out of a public service memorandum! Do you want to provide a translation?  
> Col

  what I mean is I will format the document using the microsoft word (headings, indexes, references, tables, page numbers, headers, footers... etc...)

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## Waldo

G'day, 
Given JDub's motion to leave Appendix C for inclusion within the Code of Practice and giving the result 2 in favour and 2 against the motion should be counted as defeated and Appendix C to be included within the Code of Practice unless there be any other reasons that it may not be included.  :Smilie:

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## Driver

> what I mean is I will format the document using the microsoft word (headings, indexes, references, tables, page numbers, headers, footers... etc...)

  Zed 
Have you actually looked at the zipped documents included in previous posts?:confused:  
They _are_ formatted using MS Word and they have headings, indexes, references, tables, page numbers, headers, footers... etc..

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## Ashore

Re reading this great work , well done
Could I just get clarification on a couple of points
Clothing , are these allowed
Old track pants ?
Aprons ( including leather but only when actually doing boiler maker work )
Those dust coat things the teachers use to wear 
And with visitors,
What are the rules as to suppling spare ear protection , eye protection , for visitors . 
Are extra stubbie holders needed or should visitors supply there own.  
Rgds

----------


## Waldo

G'day Driver, 
Under we by definition of a Shed under Section 5 alienating those who do not have ownership of a shed but work within a space be it a workroom, garage or other work space, and therefore should the definition of a shed be further defined as any other workspace under a Subsection to Section 5?

----------


## Driver

> Under we by definition of a Shed under Section 5 alienating those who do not have ownership of a shed but work within a space be it a workroom, garage or other work space, and therefore should the definition of a shed be further defined as any other workspace under a Subsection to Section 5?

  Excellent point Waldo. I suffer currently from a lack of appropriate shed-like structure (soon to be corrected, I hasten to add) and therefore have to operate in a corner of the patio (which is co-opted as a shed-substitute) so I understand - and entirely agree - that this situation needs to be covered in the Code.   

> Could I just get clarification on a couple of points
> Clothing , are these allowed
> Old track pants ?
> Aprons ( including leather but only when actually doing boiler maker work )
> Those dust coat things the teachers use to wear 
> And with visitors,
> What are the rules as to suppling spare ear protection , eye protection , for visitors . 
> Are extra stubbie holders needed or should visitors supply there own.

  Equally good points, Ashore. Some obvious gaps that need plugging! 
Col

----------


## JDub

Some other points/additions/suggestions:  :Cool:   
5.2.1
For me my shed is a place where you can put something down and you can return one week later and there it will be, right were you left it. 
5.2.2
Much like personal compost, you must keep turning it over for it to function properly.

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## Waldo

G'day Driver, 
As a suggestion might a shed be be defined as thus: 
5.1.1 In leui of a bloke not being in owernship of a shed wherein tools / machinery reside in the undertaking or to the purpose of setting out to undertake such things, a 'shed' may be any given workspace or area not necissarilly confined within four walls, so as to also mean garage, workroom, patio/decking or any other such space that blokes undertake or set out to undertake projects therein.

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## silentC

I dunno. A "patio" sounds like somewhere you might encounter chaps and fruity beverages. 
In the spirit of the document, I believe that if you call it a shed, then it is a shed.  :Wink:

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## Driver

> I dunno. A "patio" sounds like somewhere you might encounter chaps and fruity beverages.

  :eek: :eek: :eek: Heaven forfend! That hadn't occurred to me but you're right. :eek:     

> In the spirit of the document, I believe that if you call it a shed, then it is a shed.

  It's a shed. It's definitely a shed.

----------


## Driver

Here's the latest update. It includes additions suggested by :Redface:  
DanP - New content on Inter-Bloke Communications, Sharpening, and some supplementary advice on Standing and/or Leaning and Staring. 
Zed - New - Acknowledgement of the (anonymous) authorship of Appendices. 
Ashore - Blokely Attire and new stuff on Stubby Holders. 
Waldo, JDub and silentC - The Shed. 
Thanks, gentlemen for your sterling work. 
Toodle Pip! 
Col

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## Robbo

Now we know why the constitution took so long to write? :Wink:   :Biggrin:   C'est bien mon ami.

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## Waldo

G'day Driver, 
I'd like to put forward a motion that the latest variation and ammendment of the Code of Practice be accepted and passed. Any one willing to second?  
And three blokey cheers to Driver for his outstanding effort.  :Cool:   :Smilie:

----------


## Driver

> Now we know why the constitution took so long to write?   C'est bien mon ami.

  I knew when I started this thread that there was likely to be a bit of work in it. Actually, I'm surprised at how far we've taken it in a relatively short time. The thread's first post was only a week ago. 
What hasn't surprised me is the enthusiastic way it has been embraced by everyone who has contributed and the genuinely creative thinking that has gone into the contributions. 
(Je te remercis, mon vieux m&#233;tis et hache-manieur!) 
Col

----------


## Pat

I second your motion Waldo. Many thanks to Col for this opus. :Smilie:

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

I wonder if the PTBs will consider including it in the Best of the Best?  
A short while ago I posted something to the "Shedette" thread and then realised it raises a valid point...  hence a slight revision for appraisal here: 
If two sheds (shedettes' inclusive) are in close proximity no tools, fittings, parts of collections or _any_ item that can be moved without use of an engine-hoist/forklift shall be moved from one abode to the other without previously obtained permission, preferably in writing. Blood- or tear-stained documents do *not* count as permission, nor does "In your dreams" or any verbal agreement made during a session involving blokes' drinks.

----------


## Robbo

> I wonder if the PTBs will consider including it in the Best of the Best?  
> A short while ago I posted something to the "Shedette" thread and then realised it raises a valid point...  hence a slight revision for appraisal here: 
> If two sheds (*shedettes'* inclusive) are in close proximity no tools, fittings, parts of collections or _any_ item that can be moved without use of an engine-hoist/forklift shall be moved from one abode to the other without previously obtained permission, preferably in writing. Blood- or tear-stained documents do *not* count as permission, nor does "In your dreams" or any verbal agreement made during a session involving blokes' drinks.

  or other male/female arrangements. IE. agree or the answer is no.

----------


## Skew ChiDAMN!!

And more on the subject of sharpening, which leads on to... well... 
When a bloke finally deigns to sharpen his tools, he will do so in a truly blokely manner.  It doesn't matter whether he's simply reshaping a $2 cold-chisel or honing a $mega handplane blade, _every_ tool sharpened will be able to circumcise a gnat or split atoms with a simple flourish.  The final shape of the sharpened edge is irrelevant, the tool may be rendered totally useless for it's original use, whereupon it may become a part of a collection or find an alternative use.  All that matters is that it's _sharp._ 
It is mandatory to prove this by testing it upon the hairs of the fore-arm, followed by hairs of the leg should more tools be sharpened than the arms can readily accomodate.  Scarification is not necessary, although there are those who deem that no tool is truly sharp until it has been blooded. 
NB: It is not considered blokely to shave anywhere below the neck *except* when sharpening tools.  Similarly, waxing is definite chap behaviour *except* when caused inadvertently by removing dried glue, lacquer, paint or similar that wasn't noticed when it was leaned in, spilled or otherwise splashed.  
NB#2 An important exception to the last exception is the "bikini line" as no bloke dressed in suitably blokely attire would ever be in this situation. Or admit to it, anyway. Which is, to a bloke, the same thing.  Consequently this would be a good method to determine whether a visitor is a bloke or a chap, were it not for the fact that only a chap would attempt to apply it.

----------


## Cliff Rogers

Struth Skew... take a breath... I'm going purple in the face reading this stuff.  :Shock:

----------


## Skew ChiDAMN!!

And that's the condensed version.  :Shock:

----------


## BobL

I just saw this a few minutes ago. My eyes are still watering from laughing so much. Have circulated to a few "blokes" who will seriously identify.
Thanks

----------


## Zedd

I second the motion to accept.

----------


## Ashore

Then all those in favor ( with Col's Ok of course )

----------


## RufflyRustic

Aye!!!! :Biggrin:

----------


## doug the slug

looks good to me

----------


## JDub

Aye!

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## Wongo

Driver, apparently women like a bloke who is man enough to wear pink. Therefore pink must be a blokely colour. :Cool:

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## Driver

> Driver, apparently women like a bloke who is man enough to wear pink. Therefore pink must be a blokely colour.

  Mate, if you're referring to that Bundy ad, I'll point out to you something that the sheila has also missed: when she delivers that line about preferring a man who's man enough to wear pink, she's talking to a person (possibly a chap, I find it hard to believe he's a bloke) in a dyed pink polar bear suit. 
This tends to dilute the potency of her argument. 
Further, the pink in question has been derived from what is clearly a red footy sock judiciously dipped into the bear's bathwater by his blokely mates. (See Para 9 _Blokely Attire_, sub-para 9.3.3 _Colour_, sub-sub-para 9.3.3.4 _Pink_) 
I think on either count the Code deals with your query satisfactorily. Thank you for raising it and providing us with an opportunity to test the Code's effectiveness.  :Wink:

----------


## Skew ChiDAMN!!

Yup.  (Any more "ayes" and we'll be up to our necks in eye patches, wooden legs and Seaman Stains!)

----------


## Auld Bassoon

Ah Ha! She said, as she waved 'er wooden leg! 
Also known as "Aye!"  :Biggrin:

----------


## BobL

Have run said code past various blokes at work. 
Whilst meeting with general apporval one bloke suggests footwear section should include specific reference to; 
"manky uggboot with gaffa tape reinforcement" 
Carry on.

----------


## DanP

> "manky uggboot with gaffa tape reinforcement"

  Seconded.

----------


## Driver

OK, gents _(see para 10- Inter-Bloke Communications, sub para 10.3 - Blokely Terms)._ 
I have attached two files. They both contain the Code of Practice, brought up to date. One is in A4 format and the other in A5. 
In the A4 file, amendments to the Code have been highlighted. They include :Redface:  
- Some minor modifications to the text throughout the Code, employing more precise terminology. 
- An extra sub-paragraph on _Sharpening_ in _para 6 - Tools_ - suggested in part by SkewChiDAmN!! 
- A useful addition to _para 9 - Blokely Attire_, submitted by BobL and his external sub-committee and dealing with the important issue of the gaffer-tape reinforced manky uggboot. 
- A new section in _para 10 - Inter-Bloke Communications_, dealing with the previously omitted and very important area of Blokely Terms. 
Please ensure that you read the updated Code of Practice and bring your personal copy up to date without delay to ensure compliance. 
Thank you for your attention. 
Toodle Pip! 
Col

----------


## DanP

> 1.1.1.1.     Note: The latter two terms can be used inter-changeably when addressing any group of blokes but are probably most effectively deployed when addressing members of a rival institution: another sporting team or woodworking club, for example.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>

  Or a bloke who has done himself an injury in the shed. 
Dan 
BTW:  Toodle pip is a bit Chappish isn't it?

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> ...BTW: Toodle pip is a bit Chappish isn't it?

  Nah, it means 'the other end of the dog'  :Cool:   
(Think about it.)  :Biggrin:

----------


## Driver

> BTW:  Toodle pip is a bit Chappish isn't it?

  I was wondering when someone would notice.  :Wink:     

> Nah, it means 'the other end of the dog'

  Not bad, Ginge, but verging on chappish, too, I reckon.  :Tongue:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

big's pum.  :Biggrin:

----------


## Ashore

Today while out trying to get a new frog for a stanley 220 I bought some A5 paper and tonight I printed out this wonderful document.
Tomorrow I shall drill a hole in the top Right hand corner , cable tie together and shall enforce the rule that all who enter *My Shed* shall read and abide by the said document rules 
Thanks to Driver ( Col)  for the work and effort much appreciated

----------


## HomeLife

I dunno if this has already been mentioned but its a must to have a place in the shed which is reserved to "incubate" new tools until the missus realises that you already owned it a long time ago....;p

----------


## Caliban

Col
Somehow I only noticed this thread tonight and have sent myself to stand in the corner for being so unblokely.
Whilst there I read a thread about intercoms between house and shed. This is something swmbo has tried to get me to install. I am proud of my efforts of passive resistance. Such a device would remove the very soul of the shed. It would reduce the shed to another place from where I could be found out hounded, harrangued and summoned.:eek: 
This must be made part of the code. Imagine not being able to use the old "if a machine is running don't come tapping me on the shoulder" line.
This is a threat that no one else has foreseen. As insidious as telemarketers are in the house.
I know this is a really late amendment but without it all previous efforts may well be thwarted.

----------


## echnidna

Right on Caliban,
An intercom is just like a mobile phone - a peace and tranquility wrecker!!!!!

----------


## Driver

Jim 
Remove yourself from the corner without delay! 
You have spotted a major omission from the Code and blokes everywhere will be grateful to you for your sterling work in helping to plug what had the awful potential to develop into a major breach in the defences of the Domain of the Bloke. Your name has been added to the Drafting Committee listed in Appendix D. 
I attach the latest amendment to the Code, including a vitally important new Note under sub-para 5.7 - _Warning signs_. 
The new additions have been highlighted in yellow, as usual. The Code's draughtsmen have taken the opportunity to make some other minor changes, highlighted in green. These have the effect of aligning parts of the Code in a more logical sequence. 
Blokes everywhere are urged to update their copies of the Code to bring it into line with these updates. 
Col

----------


## echnidna

Another important addition that is essential to the code is that Blokes should avoid knowing the rules about everything anmd anything (especially swmbo's) so that they can genuinelly plead innocence to all allegations :Smilie:

----------


## Driver

> Another important addition that is essential to the code is that Blokes should avoid knowing the rules about everything anmd anything (especially swmbo's) so that they can genuinelly plead innocence to all allegations

  
Bob 
I _think_ I understand this but it would help if you could suggest some wording to be included in the Code. 
Col

----------


## echnidna

Blokles are always entitled to be presumed innocent coz they don't know the rules.!!!!!!!!!

----------


## Driver

> Blokles are always entitled to be presumed innocent coz they don't know the rules.!!!!!!!!!

  
Right. Got it! 
I'll work on this and issue an update.

----------


## craigb

Not sure if this has been covered but if not I'd like to humbly suggest for inclusion: 
"Under no circumstances should a Bloke ever completely read the instructions to _anything_. 
Ideally they shouldn't be read at all, but if absolutely necessary a casual flick though should be more than enough for any bloke to operate/assemble anything".

----------


## Dan

> "Under no circumstances should a Bloke ever completely read the instructions to _anything_. 
> Ideally they shouldn't be read at all, but if absolutely necessary a casual flick though should be more than enough for any bloke to operate/assemble anything".

  Yep. Even if you've got no idea at all, a bloke should at least unpack everything and make an attempt. Extra points if you can work out how to make it stronger, faster or better looking. High achievers will be able to get a completely different use/function from the original item. 
Good one Craig.

----------


## echnidna

So I use old beer cans as shim metal - does that mean I'm a high achiever :Biggrin:   
btw steel beer cans are about 4 thou thick and ally is about 8 thou thick,
dunno what a baked beans tin is though :Rolleyes:

----------


## Dan

> So I use old beer cans as shim metal - does that mean I'm a high achiever

  Why not? :Biggrin:

----------


## Driver

This is sterling work, gents. 
Craig's suggested inclusion, with Dan's amendment, will be included in the next update. 
Watch this space! 
(Incidentally, I trust you blokes have noticed that the Code received meritorious inclusion in a recent episode of the Rip saga. It was, in fact, cited as sufficient justification for Groans and Shorty to facilitate Moichael's latest flight over the taffrail and into the 'oggin!).

----------


## Caliban

Col
Thanks for the "get out of the corner" card. Also clear your pm inbox. Popular buggar. Also today I was hiding (read researching) in my shed when I noticed a partially complete restoration. It is a broken bar stool. It is inverted waiting for me to find the glue. Is this acceptable? Or is it, although broken, an open invitation for four "chap" types to make themselves at home and take a seat?
Could I have inadvertently breached the code whilst trying to have at least three(3) unfinished jobs on the go.(no pun intended) To me and every other true bloke out there the article in question does not represent a seat as such,so really I only have one stool in its normal (legs down) attitude.:confused: :confused: :confused:

----------


## Dan

While you're editing Col, I've got a couple of suggestions and one minor correction.  _10.3 Blokley terms_
How about including Fellas (Fellers sp?)? 
10.3.1
Just about anything derogatory would also qualify eg knobhead, Boofhead, big nose, tosser, wanker etc. 
9.3.2.1.  It is recommended, notwithstanding the strictures of para 9.3.4  _Colour_,  
Should read 9.3.*5* _Colour_

----------


## craigb

> While you're editing Col, I've got a couple of suggestions and one minor correction.  _10.3 Blokley terms_
> How about including Fellas (Fellers sp?)? 
> 10.3.1
> Just about anything derogatory would also qualify eg knobhead, Boofhead, big nose, tosser, wanker etc. 
> 9.3.2.1.  It is recommended, notwithstanding the strictures of para 9.3.4  _Colour_,  
> Should read 9.3.*5* _Colour_

  Geez Louise.  :Tongue:  
You don't work in the public service do you?  :Tongue:   :Biggrin:

----------


## havenoideaatall

I had a recent landmark case in my jurisdiction - I know there is plenty of case law pertaining to it elsewhere but I couldn't show initially that they applied in my local jurisdiction. 
 In me vs Chief (2004), there was a lengthy drawn out proceedings where I had to apply for a decision on articles and possessions belonging to Chief which she wanted to store in the shed and I wasn't prepared to accomodate. _Ipso facto_, I got the decision in my favour. 
I realise the spirit of the law is important here. The shed is my dominion so it is my decision. But is there a need to allow for this explicitly in the code? 
eg. "No partner may commence proceedings for application to store articles or possessions without first lodging the plan with the owner, who may consider them on merit but is obliged to indicate that the application will almost certainly be rejected out of hand. The burden of proof follows the stricter criminal law code; the appliant must prove _beyond reasonable doubt_ there is no impediment to storage, unlike in the civil law where he must look at the 'balance of probabilities".  
 Articles or possessions include but are not limited to:
 single beds, currently not in use, 
 pictures,
 old oil heaters, (although _prima facie_, they do provide warmth for the shed and this may be considered).  
Some owners may feel they can accomodate and hold, with agreed access, a limited of gardening accoutrements and articles if no other shed is available. However on the law that 'fill expands to fill all avaliable space' it is to be discouraged." 
 Incidentally fellows, in an appendix, can we include such cases that have come _inter alia_, part of commonlaw, if not yet enshrined and codified under statute. 
I invite you blokes to submit examples of past cases in your jurisdiction. As all such cases won by SWMBO are not deemed to be correct in higher court, [this forum] despite ratified by the commonwealth, they need not be included.

----------


## Dan

> "No partner may commence proceedings for application to store articles or possessions without first lodging the plan with the owner, who may consider them on merit but is obliged to indicate that the application will almost certainly be rejected out of hand.

  Don't know about the rest of youse blokes and not having been in this situation myself, but I would expect that ownership of said articles or possessions would transfer to the owner of the shed after say, a week?

----------


## Driver

OK ladies 
Some heavy correspondence on Code-related matters this fine winter's morn! 
Dealing with your input in no particular order :Redface:  
1. havenoideaatall. Mate - you are to be congratulated for your enthusiasm. It is clear that you have a fine grasp of the principles of the Code and your blokely status is unquestioned. Indeed, you are demonstrably a Good Bloke. However, in your (as I said, unquestioned) blokely enthusiasm, you have missed the most obvious point. I refer you to the Code: para 3 - Definitions and I quote :Redface:  
"3.1.	*Bloke* – a bloke is the owner, occupier and user of his shed." 
and :Redface:  
"3.2.	*Shed* – a shed is the domain, demesne and realm of a bloke." 
also :Redface:  
"4.2.	*The purpose of a shed.* 
The purpose of a shed is to provide an environment and territory wherein a bloke has total and complete dominion and control *and is therefore happy*." 
This, I believe, deals with the important issues you raise. Thank you for providing another opportunity to demonstrate the effectiveness of the Code. 
Incidentally, your point about case law and precedent is well taken. I suggest that this thread, in its entirety, can provide the necessary body of reference for this purpose. 
2. Jim, me old Caliban, it's definably a Work In Progress (WIP). To quote your own post: _"....a partially complete restoration. It is a broken bar stool."_ Until such time as it is a complete restoration, at which point it will become a mere bar stool, it remains a WIP. No violation of the Code is at issue here. 
3. echnidna. Very good work, Bob. I've added an entire new paragraph (para 11) on the subject of _Extra-Bloke Communications._ 
4. Craig. Ditto. A new section on new tools has been added under para 6 - _Tools._ 
5. Dan. Good work on blokely terms. Duly noted and amendments incorporated. Thanks for spotting the error in numbering. (Craig: tsk,tsk, mate - it's important to get these things right - this is *THE* Code of Practice). 
I attach the latest Code update. Please bring your copies up to date to avoid potential violations by omission. 
Col

----------


## havenoideaatall

Thanks Driver, I am aware that the code provided for such a point, but thought maybe we could make it explicit. 
Seems to me that any post on this forum amounts to precedent and also forms a body of case law.

----------


## echnidna

Shouldn't there be a link to this forum on each page?

----------


## craigb

> (Craig: tsk,tsk, mate - it's important to get these things right - this is *THE* Code of Practice).

  Sorry Col.  :Shock:  
Consider me chastised.  :Shock:

----------


## ozwinner

Newaddition to the blokey clause. 
Steve ( Auld Basson ) and I are allowed to say chap. 
Al  :Tongue:

----------


## Auld Bassoon

> Newaddition to the blokey clause. 
> Steve ( Auld Basson ) and I are allowed to say chap. 
> Al

   :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:   Quite so, old pal, don'tcha know!

----------


## Driver

> Newaddition to the blokey clause. 
> Steve ( Auld Basson ) and I are allowed to say chap. 
> Al

  
Well in that case, try to keep your voices down. We don't want people to get the wrong idea. :eek:  
(I'm not even going to mention the fact that you used that sheila's word 'blokey' instead of the correct term: 'blokely'). 
Also, there is no "blokey clause". :confused:  Are you sure you're not confusing it with Santa Claus?  :Wink:  Al, have you taken to going outdoors without your foilie again? :eek:

----------


## Driver

OK girls, 
I've been using the A4 format for most of the updates but, as those of you who have been following this thread will know, I have saved a version in A5 size. 
A5 is actually more usable as a printed version. I find A4 a bit unwieldy, especially in the shed. 
Keeping both sizes updated is a bit of a PITA but I'm happy to do that if both formats are wanted. Otherwise, I'll revert to A5 only. 
Tell me what you think. 
Col the Formatter

----------


## Cliff Rogers

Col, I don't think it matters at this stage 'cos I'm not going to print it while it is still being updated so often.  :Biggrin:   
Maybe, if it is even finished, a hard copy in A5 format would be good to have on hand, just in case the power fails.  :Cool:   
You mentioned making a cover to suit the A5 version, did you ever get around to it?

----------


## Driver

> You mentioned making a cover to suit the A5 version, did you ever get around to it?

  
I did but it's very uninspired.  
I've been looking (unsuccessfully) for a good illustration of a shed. What I have in mind is a cartoon rendition of either a cluttered internal view or a ramshackle external view. The external would need to be distinctly Aussie (ie, corrugated iron, overhanging eaves etc). 
Any ideas? Better still, any good illustrations?

----------


## journeyman Mick

Col,
I reckon each shed dweller needs to make his own cover, design and materials used therin dependant on their shed practices. So, a few possibilities: 
timber  beautifully finished (machine) Major Panic; 
timber beautifully finished (darkside) Derek Cohen; 
bushmilled timber Exador
timber (silky oak) but unfinished (hinges missing etc) Me  :Shock:  
Metal covers, cobbled together artfully from assorted car parts, Andy Mac
Leather bound legal volume type Boban 
etc etc etc 
Mick

----------


## Waldo

G'day Driver, 
How's this pic?

----------


## Waldo

G'day, 
Or any of these?

----------


## Waldo

G'day, 
2nd attempt.  :Smilie:

----------


## Skew ChiDAMN!!

> Col,
> I reckon each shed dweller needs to make his own cover, design and materials used therin dependant on their shed practices. So, a few possibilities: 
> timber  beautifully finished (machine) Major Panic; 
> timber beautifully finished (darkside) Derek Cohen; 
> bushmilled timber Exador
> timber (silky oak) but unfinished (hinges missing etc) Me  
> Metal covers, cobbled together artfully from assorted car parts, Andy Mac
> Leather bound legal volume type Boban

  And don't forget: blobs of sawdust & shavings, held together with glue, lacquer & the occasional nail/screw/lost tool (me  :Rolleyes:  )

----------


## havenoideaatall

Looks like the sort of thing a remote rural fire brigade would store its 'appliance' in.

----------


## RufflyRustic

> .....
> Any ideas? Better still, any good illustrations?

  See Attached as an idea/suggestion. 
cheers
Wendy

----------


## craigb

> See Attached as an idea/suggestion. 
> cheers
> Wendy

  I didn't know you'd been to Wood Borer's shed Wendy.  :Biggrin:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> ..I've been looking (unsuccessfully) for a good illustration of a shed. What I have in mind is a cartoon rendition ... any good illustrations?

  I reckon one of Saltbush Bill's sheds by Eric Jolliffe should do the trick.
I can't find one on the internet in a hurry.

----------


## Driver

> Col,
> I reckon each shed dweller needs to make his own cover, design and materials used therin dependant on their shed practices. So, a few possibilities: 
> timber  beautifully finished (machine) Major Panic; 
> timber beautifully finished (darkside) Derek Cohen; 
> bushmilled timber Exador
> timber (silky oak) but unfinished (hinges missing etc) Me  
> Metal covers, cobbled together artfully from assorted car parts, Andy Mac
> Leather bound legal volume type Boban 
> etc etc etc 
> Mick

  Mick - this sounds like a very good plan. The Code, after all, makes it quite clear that a bloke is in absolute control of all matters pertaining to his shed so it's entirely appropriate that the cover of a given bloke's copy of the Code should fit his particular style. 
For those who want a printed version, I'll have a go at putting one together if I can find a decent illustration.  
Waldo - thanks for the pics. All good - except for the distressed dunny - I have to offer you some advice and guidance here. It would be a potentially serious mistake to confuse your shed with your dunny. A dunny only fulfills one of the Code's requirements: that it contains but a single seat. In other respects ......:eek:  
Wendy - that's a great photo and is a definite contender.   

> I reckon one of Saltbush Bill's sheds by Eric Jolliffe should do the trick.

  Cliff - spot on. That's what I had in mind. I'll have a bit of a Google. I'd also like to include the UBeaut logo and I've asked Neil for permission but he hasn't got back to me yet.  I know he's been a bit busy lately so I'll give him a rev. 
Col

----------


## RufflyRustic

> I didn't know you'd been to Wood Borer's shed Wendy.

   :Biggrin:  I wish  :Biggrin:   I've heard you could sink in there and not be found for years  :Wink:   :Biggrin:   
It's my Uncle's Shed.  Like Father, Uncle, Grandad, Great-Grandad, etc etc etc etc       like ....    :confused:        me       :Smilie:

----------


## Ashore

> OK girls, 
> I've been using the A4 format for most of the updates but, as those of you who have been following this thread will know, I have saved a version in A5 size. 
> A5 is actually more usable as a printed version. I find A4 a bit unwieldy, especially in the shed. 
> Keeping both sizes updated is a bit of a PITA but I'm happy to do that if both formats are wanted. Otherwise, I'll revert to A5 only. 
> Tell me what you think. 
> Col the Formatter

  Like the A5 format have printed out a copy in that size , works well the size is easy to handle and the font is readable. 
I thought about the cover and I rekon it needs to look official , I mean its "the standard" isn't it you don't want a picture of someone elses shed do you , and if you leave it up to the indivudal well some may not have the time to come up with a quality cover. You can't have a picture of a paticular wood working implement either as some are darksiders and some just burn electrons, so something eye grabing and official with a dire warning that it must be read & adhered to by all who enter, and in recognition of all the time and effort "compiled by Driver" or Col as you preffer and a thumbprint of your avatar or of you looking all stern and blokey. 
Rgds
Russell

----------


## Driver

It’s a wet and miserable morning outdoors and I haven’t got much of a workload today so I’ve been pondering Code-related matters. Here are some thoughts. 
On re-reading my post #152 above, I feel I may have given the impression that I was dismissive of the detailed input from havenoideaatall. If so, I apologise. That was not my intention. Brother have raises an interesting point about the potential for a bloke’s shed to be co-opted as a storage area for items of a non-blokely disposition and character. Putting it bluntly, a bloke can’t allow his shed to be filled up with old crap on the whim of non-bloke members of the household. If he chooses to fill it up with old crap :eek: er, that is, potentially useful material of his own, that’s different 
However, where Brother have and I differ is in the area of detail. I believe the Code should be a guide, not an instruction manual. It is designed to provide advice and general direction but not to give instructions to fit every situation a bloke may meet. 
In that respect, the description ‘Code of Practice’ was carefully selected. 
In the area of prescribed behaviour for the community at large there are three levels of guidance :Redface:   *Legislation* – enshrined in common law and statute and establishing both the boundaries of acceptable behaviour and appropriate punishment for breaches. (Not to be confused with The Laws of Shed Physics – see below).  *Regulations* – detailing specific rules that are to be followed.  *Codes of Practice* – setting guidelines and offering advice. 
So, when it comes to a bloke and his shed, well, he is in charge and therefore can be considered to have the authority to establish both common law and statute. For regulations – again - a given bloke sets the rules for his own shed.  
The Code of Practice is not designed to be prescriptive about shed activities but instead to provide general guidance for all blokes engaged in shed activities – in both their own and other blokes’ sheds. Where the Code occasionally veers into the prescriptive, this tends to be on matters that are well understood by blokes and simply require authoritative confirmation from the Code: in the area of blokely drinks, for instance. 
Now, as to the Laws of Shed Physics. Think of the concept of Bistromaths, described by Slartiblartfast in Douglas Adams’ _Hitch Hiker_ series. The Laws of Shed Physics are not laws established by precedent or statute. They are nature’s laws. They are immutable and inviolable. You can’t break the Laws of Shed Physics any more than you can break any other law of nature. To attempt, for example, to place a limit on the number of clamps you might need is as futile as trying to breathe by inhaling water while submerged. Doesn’t work, can’t be done. Dire consequences will follow. 
(Incidentally, it’s fairly obvious that the only reason Slartiblartfast isn’t named Slartiblartfart is because _Hitch Hiker_ was originally a radio series broadcast by the BBC, who clearly would have vetoed anything overtly vulgar). 
Col the Ponderer

----------


## Driver

> Like the A5 format have printed out a copy in that size , works well the size is easy to handle and the font is readable. 
> I thought about the cover and I rekon it needs to look official , I mean its "the standard" isn't it you don't want a picture of someone elses shed do you , and if you leave it up to the indivudal well some may not have the time to come up with a quality cover. You can't have a picture of a paticular wood working implement either as some are darksiders and some just burn electrons,

  Good points Russell. For those who don't have the time etc, as I said in an earlier post, I'll try to produce something useful.   

> so something eye grabing and official with a dire warning that it must be read & adhered to by all who enter, and in recognition of all the time and effort "compiled by Driver" or Col as you preffer and a thumbprint of your avatar or of you looking all stern and blokey. 
> Rgds
> Russell

  Not so sure about this bit. It's not my Code, it's our Code so I certainly won't be using my avatar or name on the cover. I appreciate the sentiment but that would be wrong. I would like to have a prominent reference to the UBeaut Bulletin Board and I'll be looking for Neil's permission to use the BB's UBeaut logo. 
Blokes might like to put a simple notice on their shed doors, something like :Redface:   *Visitors are advised that 
this is a shed and all persons entering 
are subject to the Code of Practice.*
Col

----------


## Ashore

I know its not your code but you were the Drivering force behind it and have done a mighty job in compiling and editing it , but the decision is yours  .
Rgds and thanks for the effort

----------


## Auld Bassoon

> I know its not your code but you were the Drivering force behind it and have done a mighty job in compiling and editing it , but the decision is yours .
> Rgds and thanks for the effort

  Hear Hear! A toast to Driver - with, of course, nothing containing bubbles (unless its beer) or an excess of fruit  :Biggrin:

----------


## Caliban

Tutti- fruitty baby. 
All hail Driver!

----------


## DanP

Col, 
I'm a tad concerned about _your_ blokeliness.  First, "toodlepip", now this;  

> recently a disturbing trend has been reported by blokes whose life partners have suggested that devices be installed in sheds that will allow said life partners

  _Life Partners?_  What happened to the "missus" or the "sheila"  or even just plain SWMBO.  You'll be calling your shed a "studio" soon and serving latte's in it. 
Dan

----------


## Andy Mac

Hi Driver,
Here's something you may be interested in as a cover picture. Its a scan of a photocopy of a drawing I did many years ago, so the quality is pretty poor. :Shock:  The original I gave away, and this B&W is the only copy I have. Original had some colour over the inkwork, and was A3; this is an A4 scan of half the drawing, but may suit your needs. :Smilie:  
Cheers, and thanks for all your work on the Code!

----------


## echnidna

Can I use that pic to help get our mens shed going?

----------


## Driver

> Here's something you may be interested in as a cover picture. Its a scan of a photocopy of a drawing I did many years ago, so the quality is pretty poor. The original I gave away, and this B&W is the only copy I have. Original had some colour over the inkwork, and was A3; this is an A4 scan of half the drawing, but may suit your needs.

  Andy 
That is exactly what I had in mind. It's absolutely ideal! The fact that it was drawn by you, a member of the BB and of the Code's drafting committee, means that it selects itself. 
Thanks, mate! You are hereby officially confirmed as a Bloody Top Bloke!  
I'll work on the cover design and post it with the next update. 
Thanks again. Great drawing! 
Col

----------


## RufflyRustic

> Andy 
> That is exactly what I had in mind. It's absolutely ideal! The fact that it was drawn by you, a member of the BB and of the Code's drafting committee, means that it selects itself.

  I agree   

> Thanks, mate! You are hereby officially confirmed as a Bloody Top Bloke!

  I agree  
Even though I don't really fit into this CoP, I think I'll ditch the other version and just follow the one and only real CoP.  I can't beat it and it actually applies more to me than any other could. I might just keep that little bit I wrote as a codicil though..... 
Cheers
Wendy

----------


## craigb

> Even though I don't really fit into this CoP,

  'Course you do. Blokedom is a state of mind.  :Biggrin:

----------


## Driver

Dan 
I've only just spotted your earlier post so forgive the slightly tardy response.   

> I'm a tad concerned about _your_ blokeliness.

  Well - concern yourself no more, Brother Dan, I noted your concern and turned to Appendix B of the Code: to whit, the Blokeness Quotient quiz. I took the quiz and I'm proud to report that I achieved a score of 27 points and a rating of *Maaate!* Accordingly I have given voice to the prescribed muted yell of triumph and had a celebratory blokely drink. It's only a little before 7.00 am so I confined myself to a cup of coffee (not, incidentally, a latte!).     

> You'll be calling your shed a "studio" soon and serving latte's in it.

  Rest assured that neither of those two dire predictions will come to pass. :eek:  
Col (the Bloke)  :Cool:

----------


## Driver

> 'Course you do. Blokedom is a state of mind.

  Y'know, that could almost be the title of a song .......

----------


## havenoideaatall

> On re-reading my post #152 above, I feel I may have given the impression that I was dismissive of the detailed input from havenoideaatall. If so, I apologise.  
> In the area of prescribed behaviour for the community at large there are three levels of guidance  *Legislation*  enshrined in common law and statute and establishing both the boundaries of acceptable behaviour and appropriate punishment for breaches. (Not to be confused with The Laws of Shed Physics  see below).  *Regulations*  detailing specific rules that are to be followed.  *Codes of Practice*  setting guidelines and offering advice.

  Driver, the thought did occur to me. I framed my contribution against the backdrop of legalese, when this is a Code of Practise. Some Codes are legal documents -eg The Building Code of Australia. (Correct?) 
Of course, there are elements of the Code which bloody well should pass into statute. There are elements the transgression of which constitute crimes of absolute strict liability(!)

----------


## Driver

> ....when this is a Code of Practise.

  Brother have - this is *THE* Code of Practice!    

> Some Codes are legal documents -eg The Building Code of Australia. (Correct?)

  Correctamundo.   

> Of course, there are elements of the Code which bloody well should pass into statute. There are elements the transgression of which constitute crimes of absolute strict liability(!)

  You will get no argument from this correspondent. 
Col

----------


## Glenn_M

Brilliant piece of work by all involved. 
I think this should be given serious consideration as an amendment to the Consititution.   However I feel John H may fail the Blokeness Quotient test and block the required referendum. 
It shall however be passed into Law within the confines of my shed. 
Cheers.

----------


## Driver

Here's an attempt at a front cover, using Andy Mac's excellent drawing and the UBeaut BB logo. 
I have no pretensions to be a graphic designer so if someone can come up with a better design, please go ahead. 
Col

----------


## Auld Bassoon

> Here's an attempt at a front cover, using Andy Mac's excellent drawing and the UBeaut BB logo. 
> I have no pretensions to be a graphic designer so if someone can come up with a better design, please go ahead. 
> Col

  Hi Col, 
I think that's almost right, but somehow IMHO it doesn't quite gel with the ethos of the code. So here's one  
Or the attached, courtesy cartoon workshop

----------


## craigb

FWIW I tend to agree with Ashore in that it should have an "official" look to it.  
Some sort of logo like government departments spend squillions on would be the go I reckon. Except of course we don't have squillions.  :Shock:   
Anyway, just my $0.05 worth.  
Carry on.

----------


## Driver

> Some sort of logo like government departments spend squillions on would be the go I reckon. Except of course we don't have squillions.   
> Anyway, just my $0.05 worth.  
> Carry on.

  
Mate! You can't leave it there. Now you've got to have a go at a $0.05 logo. Show us your prowess!

----------


## Driver

> Hi Col, 
> I think that's almost right, but somehow IMHO it doesn't quite gel with the ethos of the code. So here's one

  Steve 
Mate - we can't have a picture of a fellow (and he is definitely a fellow - not a bloke!) in tights - sitting on a barrel of French p1ss on the front of the Code. The Code violations embraced by that picture are almost beyond description but let's start with the floppy bloody beret! I mean, hell's bells, man!  
And what about the message on the end of the barrel - who the hell is going to believe that a Frog sings better when he's full? They're bad enough sober (at least I think Splasher Distel was sober when he sang (?). 
Listen, you can only trade on the brownie points from that flash smoothing plane for a certain amount of time, y'know! 
Col

----------


## Auld Bassoon

> Steve 
> Listen, you can only trade on the brownie points from that flash smoothing plane for a certain amount of time, y'know! 
> Col

  What else are brownie points for then?  :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:

----------


## Waldo

G'day Driver, 
A logo for the Code of Practice, well that's right up my alley which happens to be part of my profession. So, if you're willing to wait a week for me to get an idea/s nutted out, I'd be very willing to contribure.  :Smilie:

----------


## Driver

> G'day Driver, 
> A logo for the Code of Practice, well that's right up my alley which happens to be part of my profession. So, if you're willing to wait a week for me to get an idea/s nutted out, I'd be very willing to contribure.

  Great! Thanks Waldo. 
If you can find a way to incorporate Andy Mac's shed picture into a cover design that would be excellent. Take all the time you need. 
Col

----------


## Waldo

G'day Driver, 
No problems. Andy Mac could you email to me the scan? Doesn't matter how big a file it is.

----------


## Skew ChiDAMN!!

There's two things about Andy Mac's picture that niggle at me...  He's using a draw-horse, right?  So where's the shavings? :eek:Going on the cover of THE code, I assume this is a "representative" shed?  OK... but where's _his_ copy of the Code hangin' on the wall?   :Tongue:   :Biggrin:

----------


## craigb

> Mate! You can't leave it there. Now you've got to have a go at a $0.05 logo. Show us your prowess!

  Mate if I did it it'd be worth less than $0.05, believe me! 
Much better idea to let Waldo do it.  
What I reckon we need is a _stylised_ shed incorporated in the logo.  
After all, what is a shed in elevation? Two uprights and a roof right?  
Now just snazzy up the basic concept up and Bob's your mother's brother.  :Biggrin:

----------


## echnidna

incest !! 
oops sorry thought it was the not a joke thread :Biggrin:

----------


## Honorary Bloke

G’day Driver, g’day mates,  I have studied carefully the CoP and believe it is one of the most intelligent documents I have ever read.  :Smilie:  I took the test and scored *Maaate!* with a 27, although for question (2) I substituted “Those little fart machines made out of rubber that you blow up and slip on your mate’s chair.” Other than that, no worries. <O :Tongue: </O :Tongue:  *<O</O*   But, I pose a few questions for your careful consideration:
<O :Tongue: </O :Tongue:  Can a bloke live in America and still be a bloke if he has a shed and follows all the rules?Is there such a thing as an Honorary Bloke and how do you apply?Is Foster’s _really_ “Australian for beer” or are the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com[IMG] /><st1:country-region w:st=[/IMG]merica</st1:country-region> and still be a bloke if he has a shed and follows all the rules? <font face=" /><st1:State w:st="on"><ST1 :Tongue: New York</st1:State> ad chaps having us on? (They _are_ chaps, you know.)Is John Howard a bloke? (optional)My shed does not have a metal roof, is this a Code Violation?Flushed toilets here swirl in the opposite direction. Does this have any bearing on anything at all?If you asked the average American what a “stubby holder” was, would he know?Should he care?Is there an upper limit to the number of cock-ups allowed per WIP? My experience tells me the answer is no.It’s summer here and winter there. Who’s right?</O :Tongue:  With your permission I would like to share the CoP with some of my blokelier mates. It may inspire them to come up with their own CoP. But then again, probably not.
<O :Tongue: </O :Tongue:  I give the CoP four thumbs up! :Biggrin:

----------


## Driver

> G’day Driver, g’day mates,

  G'day Bob. Here's a tip: carefully read the Code's section on Blokely terms (10.3). Nowhere will you see the word 'mates' used in the vocative case. 'Youse blokes', 'Gents', 'Girls' and 'Ladies' are the preferred terms. Apart from that: Welcome and goodonya.    

> I have studied carefully the CoP and believe it is one of the most intelligent documents I have ever read.  I took the test and scored *Maaate!* with a 27, although for question (2) I substituted “Those little fart machines made out of rubber that you blow up and slip on your mate’s chair.” Other than that, no worries.

  Well done on the Blokeness Quotient score. As to fart machines, a bloke is, of course, free to choose his preferred system.   

> But, I pose a few questions for your careful consideration:
> Can a bloke live in America and still be a bloke if he has a shed and follows all the rules? *Yes*.
> Is there such a thing as an Honorary Bloke and how do you apply? *Yes. Wendy is an Honorary Bloke. She didn't need to apply, her status was obvious. You can't apply, blokeness is - as Craig said, a state of mind.*
> Is Foster’s _really_ “Australian for beer” or are the New York ad chaps having us on? (They _are_ chaps, you know.) *No. P!ss is Australian for beer.*
> Is John Howard a bloke? *Dunno. Has he taken the quiz?*
> My shed does not have a metal roof, is this a Code Violation? *In and of itself - No. But be careful.*
> Flushed toilets here swirl in the opposite direction. Does this have any bearing on anything at all?  *Not unless you plan to spend a lot of time on the porcelain phone (see above re p!ss)*
> If you asked the average American what a “stubby holder” was, would he know?  *Most unlikely, I imagine.*
> Should he care? *Does he want cold beer?*
> ...

----------


## RufflyRustic

:Biggrin:

----------


## Honorary Bloke

G'day youse blokes, 
It means I've taken me bloody boots off! Never wear thongs. They chaff your B**.  Can't count any higher without, can I? Can anyone tell me what time it is in OZ or do I haf' to do the math? 
Thank you, Driver. I am proud to be an American Bloke. (Oh, Wendy, how I long for you! Oops, sorry, that slipped in.) It's late here and the Blokely drinks have kicked in, so tomorrow is another day.  *What* bloody time is it there,, anyway?

----------


## JDub

10:30am if your in the eastern states....... not close enough to knock off time for my liking....

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> Is there an upper limit to the number of cock-ups allowed per WIP?

  A couple of years ago, I won a prize at a Turnout for 'The most looses on one piece'. 
I did finish it & it went on the 'Instant Gallery' table but bloody hell, I had to go & get it back from where ever it had landed lots of times.

----------


## Honorary Bloke

Well, I'm going to bed. It's 9 PM here (Eastern Daylight Time).  But . . . if it's 11 or so A.M., why aren't you all at work? And if you are, don't you have anything to do? And anyway, what DAY is it over there? Crikey! This Honorary Bloke thing is going to my head!!! 
I think I'll go out to the shed for a spell.  Leaning and staring. :Wink:  THEN I'll go to bed.

----------


## silentC

> what DAY is it over there

  It's tomorrow here, and yesterday there. See? It's simple.  
BTW If you are going out to the shed, make sure you only lean and/or stare. Under no circumstances should you DO anything. You have been warned.  :Wink:

----------


## Ashore

Bob Australia has 3 time zones ( without counting Daylight saving times ) 
So here on the east coast it's 20 past , in the middle its 10 to and on the west coast its 20 past , ( In Tasmania its 1986 ) :Biggrin:   
Hope this clears it up 
Rgds

----------


## JDub

LOL :Cool:

----------


## havenoideaatall

My wife's American brother-in-law likes to use the word mate around me alot. 
But he never _quite_ uses it in the right context, however hard he tries.

----------


## Ben (TM)

I was glad to note that, in strict accordance with section 7, sections 5&6 were unfinished. However does this imply an unwritten rule that no project shall be undertaken in a logical sequence? 
Notwithstanding you appear to have missed some important sections regarding "no reading any instruction manual" (although looking at the diagrams can be acceptable under some circumstances, likewise out-of-print workshop manuals purchased at garage sales. Being able to interpret the circuit diagrams of any pre-EFI car earns bonus points). Also failed to specify the minimum requisite number of leftovers from any project, suggest 2xnuts, 3 bolts or screws (which shall not be of the same size as the nuts) and at least one rubber/plastic seal, cap, or gasket. All to be stored in an old jar for a minimum period of 15 years after the original project item has been thrown away.

----------


## Driver

> I was glad to note that, in strict accordance with section 7, sections 5&6 were unfinished. However does this imply an unwritten rule that no project shall be undertaken in a logical sequence?

  You need to ask?   

> Notwithstanding you appear to have missed some important sections regarding "no reading any instruction manual" ....

  It would seem that you have an out of date copy of the Code. In itself this might be close to the margins of a Code violation. :eek: I suggest that you get an updated copy and refer to para 6.2 - _New tools_.

----------


## Caliban

> G'day youse blokes, 
> It means I've taken me bloody boots off! Never wear thongs. They chaff your B**.

  Mate
we're not talking about underwear. A thong is an Aussie rubber sandal. (ie footwear.) You'll learn. :Biggrin:  and welcome.

----------


## craigb

I'm wondering if we've adequetly addressed safety in the Code?  
For instance: 
"Even though you think that you may as well finish off ripping those 10mm strips just after you've seen off a visitor to your shed, (who's obviously helped you partake of several code approved beverages) it's really not a good idea. "  
What say the commitee?

----------


## Honorary Bloke

> BTW If you are going out to the shed, make sure you only lean and/or stare. Under no circumstances should you DO anything. You have been warned.

  Thank you. I may be a bloke, but I hope I'm not a stupid bloke. :Biggrin:   No blokely drinks until everything is disconnected from power. I still have all my fingers and toes.:eek:

----------


## Honorary Bloke

> Mate
> we're not talking about underwear. A thong is an Aussie rubber sandal. (ie footwear.) You'll learn. and welcome.

  Actually, just a poor attempt at some double entendre. :Shock:   We call 'em flip-flops for the slapping noise they make when you walk. :Rolleyes:

----------


## Zedd

damn fine point about not reading the manual. def an amendment for next issue. dont forget to add ben to list of credit... :Smilie:

----------


## Lignum

> I'm wondering if we've adequetly addressed safety in the Code?  
> For instance: 
> "Even though you think that you may as well finish off ripping those 10mm strips just after you've seen off a visitor to your shed, (who's obviously helped you partake of several code approved beverages) it's really not a good idea. "  
> What say the commitee?

  Id get nothing done then:eek:

----------


## Doughboy

According to websters Dictionary 
Thong :Redface: - flip-flops,  jandals,  chinese safety shoes. 
Pete

----------


## Honorary Bloke

> Bob Australia has 3 time zones ( without counting Daylight saving times ) 
> So here on the east coast it's 20 past , in the middle its 10 to and on the west coast its 20 past , ( In Tasmania its 1986 )Rgds

  Clear as mud. We have 4 time zones. Here in the east it's now 7:15, in the center 6:15, in the near west 5:15, in the far west 4:15, and in several states it is still 1886. :Biggrin:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> Actually, just a poor attempt at some double entendre. We call 'em flip-flops for the slapping noise they make when you walk.

  Never mind Bob, I undestood you humour (humor)  
Now it is my turn.... Thongs (your sort) & the slapping noise they make when you walk...  :Rolleyes:  Bit cheeky.  :Biggrin:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> damn fine point about not reading the manual. def an amendment for next issue. dont forget to add ben to list of credit...

  Hmmmm.... Zed, did you read Col's reply? It is IN THERE ALREADY refer to para 6.2 - _New tools_..  :Wink:

----------


## Honorary Bloke

Well said Cliff. But the image it conjures up.:eek:

----------


## echnidna

Explain Turkey Slapping to him Cliff   :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:   or should that be :eek: :eek:

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## Bodgy

> Actually, just a poor attempt at some double entendre. We call 'em flip-flops for the slapping noise they make when you walk.

  I thought the US designation was 'shower slippers' and the Poms 'flip-flops'. 
You must have travelled a bit, Bob? 
In Oz we can actually buy 'dress' thongs, ie balck and white.

----------


## Cliff Rogers

My dad used to have leather thongs for good, informal wear. 
Lends a new meaning to 'strop'  :Cool:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> Explain Turkey Slapping to him Cliff    or should that be :eek: :eek:

  OK, that is easy.... 
It is not quiet the same as 'beating the meat'  :Biggrin:

----------


## Bodgy

Allow me to assist in our multi-cultural discourse and attempt to explain 'turkey slapping' 
Turkey slaps are administered, in a state of friendly camaraderie, by a fella to his female companion. They consist of a light-hearted tap (usually on the cheek) by the male utilising his flaccid genitalia. 
I'm not sure if this is a cultural enigma, particular to Oz? 
In a recent episode of Big Brother, a contestant administered such TS to a female contestant. He was rusticated immediately, and narrowly escaped prosecution, for bad manners. 
We suspect this was because the slap was to the right cheek of the female and everyone knows it should be to the left.

----------


## Honorary Bloke

> You must have travelled a bit, Bob?

  Spent a lot of time in Europe (Brits, Germans, Scandinavia). But . . . never yet been to OZ and it would be the pinnacle of my life's ambitions. :Biggrin:

----------


## Honorary Bloke

> We suspect this was because the slap was to the right cheek of the female and everyone knows it should be to the left.

  Well, that clears that up. :Rolleyes:    This forum is not only informative but educational as well. (And I've been doing it wrong all these years!:eek: )

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> . . . never yet been to OZ and it would be the pinnacle of my life's ambitions.

  We are having a 'Bit of a barby' for the missus this Sat'dy if yar int'rest'd. 'sher birth'dy yest'dy.  
Translation :Redface: 
We are having a B-B-Q for my wife this Saturday if you would like to join us, you are welcome. It was her Birthday yesterday. 
PS. Don't bother bring'n ya turkey bloke.  :Cool:

----------


## craigb

I wonder if Bob is a wolf in sheeps clothing?

----------


## Honorary Bloke

> I wonder if Bob is a wolf in sheeps clothing?

  Wolf? Once perhaps, but no more. :Frown:     In sheep's clothing? Naaaw, wool makes my skin itch. :Biggrin:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

I found this looking for something for another thread...  http://www.dunlite.com.au/assets/ima...main_r2_c1.jpg 
It is a Peter Lik (I think?) or maybe a Steve Parish photo. 
I have seen the photo in a gallery & my Grandpa had a shed just like that one. The original photo didn't have the stars & the lightning.
When the one at my Grandpa's was brand new, it was the single men's quarters.
My dad learned how to make whips & other leather work there from the old-timers. (Dad is now 73 & my Grandpa would have been 100 in 3 months time if... )
I mixed molasses & urea to make a stock feed supplement on the back (right) veranda when I was a kid about 13 or 14. I never ever ever got to see what was inside that hut... it was a secret.

----------


## Ashore

> and in several states it is still 1886.

  and thats only because some of you damm yankees still claim you-all won the war , and you know the war I'm talking about. :Biggrin:

----------


## Ashore

> I wonder if Bob is a wolf in sheeps clothing?

  Nah if he was in sheeps clothing he would be posting on a NZ dating forum :Biggrin:

----------


## Caliban

> Nah if he was in sheeps clothing he would be posting on a NZ dating forum

  Fair go Russell. This thread should be above hijacking. Is nothing sacred?:eek:

----------


## Ashore

> Fair go Russell. This thread should be above hijacking. Is nothing sacred?:eek:

  Nothing Baared ewe mean :Biggrin:

----------


## Honorary Bloke

:Smilie:  G'day Caliban, 
As I understand hijacking a thread, it means diverting it from its original purpose or trying to upstage the original poster. I hope that you do not think that it was my intention to do so, nor in fact do I believe I did. I, in fact, was struck by the essential "rightness" of the CoP and believed it might apply internationally. I still believe that. It is a sound document that has both character and common sense which is applicable worldwide. 
If, for reasons which escape me at the moment, I have offended anyone in OZ, I certainly apologise. In general I admire the great good humour and camaraderie shown on this forum, and I hope to be a contributing member of it. I am not a professional woodworker, but an avid hobbyist and have much more to learn than to contribute in the way of knowledge.  :Shock:   
On the other hand, I admit to an admiration for Australia of which I cannot, in good conscience, be ashamed. Fortunately, I am old enough, and my skin is thick enough, to take almost anything. But I must draw the line at advertising on a dating forum in NZ. Here in the States we have a term for such things which is unsuitable for a family-orientated forum.  :Biggrin:   
Cliff, I am sorry I missed the barbie. I asked the missus but she had to work this weekend. Pity. Perhaps the next one.  :Smilie:   Happy birthday to the wife from America.

----------


## Sturdee

> If, for reasons which escape me at the moment, I have offended anyone in OZ, I certainly apologise. In general I admire the great good humour and camaraderie shown on this forum, and I hope to be a contributing member of it. I am not a professional woodworker, but an avid hobbyist and have much more to learn than to contribute in the way of knowledge.

  Apologizing for hijacking a thread. :eek:   
Whats wrong with you Bob, apologizing for hijacking is not needed as it's our favourite pasttime around here. It sounds as you're trying to be a Seppo  :Biggrin:   feeling sorry. :Tongue:   
BTW always a  good subject is pancakes, maybe you can tell us how you make them over there. 
Peter.

----------


## Cliff Rogers

Good on ya Bob.  :Biggrin:

----------


## echnidna

Yer ok Bob

----------


## Purpleheart

> Rule #1. Do not for any reason convert your shed into a bar /pool room... it is bad shed ediquite, build a bar room onto your house instead!(your shed will help you build it...)

  Oh no, seems I was in direct violation of the above rule. 
I converted our 6*7 meter garage into a pool room. 
This necessitated the building of a 6*6 meter carport. 
Fortunately I also have a 2.5*5.5m workshop, a garden shed (for lawnmowers, bikes ets) and a storage shed (for all the stuff I don't want to get covered in shavings that fly around the workshop), and I am currently building another shed cause I have run out of space in the others. 
I hope my secondary endeavours make up for the above indescression. 
Cheers..........

----------


## Purpleheart

PS - That was just my attempt at getting this thread back on track... :Smilie:

----------


## echnidna

> Oh no, seems I was in direct violation of the above rule. 
> I converted our 6*7 meter garage into a pool room. 
> This necessitated the building of a 6*6 meter carport. 
> Fortunately I also have a 2.5*5.5m workshop, a garden shed (for lawnmowers, bikes ets) and a storage shed (for all the stuff I don't want to get covered in shavings that fly around the workshop), and I am currently building another shed cause I have run out of space in the others. 
> I hope my secondary endeavours make up for the above indescression. 
> Cheers..........

  This breach can be negated by installing a suitable workbench top and woodworking vices on the pool table and fitting a dusty in your pool room.  :Biggrin:

----------


## scooter

> This breach can be negated by installing a suitable workbench top and woodworking vices on the pool table *and fitting a dusty in your pool room*.

  ...for the bulldust of course...  :Wink:   :Smilie:   
Cheers.................Sean

----------


## BobL

I posted the link to the code of practice to the coodabeenchampions on the ABC as I thought this would be right up their alley and  we might get 15 seconds of fame. Although I wasn't listening last weekend I heard  they ridiculed my name (I'm not fussed, I'm used to it), anyway, they said they might ridicule (er  . . . . do a program about ) sheds in a coming program so make sure you stay tuned.

----------


## Honorary Bloke

Just a quick question for the Drafting Committee:   Whilst studying the Code today I realized that Para. 6 (Tools) does not proscribe a Bloke from reading a tool’s Instructional Manual. :eek: Is this an Australian cultural phenomenon or merely an oversight? I should think, as we do here, a Bloke would fiddle a tool until he completely buggered it up before he would stoop so low as to read the Instructions.  :Biggrin:    What say you?

----------


## Andy Mac

Have to agree with you there Bob! Its only after you've attempted to assemble any given piece of equipment/plant and realised you have bolts left over that don't fit anywhere, that the instructions manual is even searched for!:eek: :Shock:  
Cheers,

----------


## BobL

> Have to agree with you there Bob! Its only after you've attempted to assemble any given piece of equipment/plant and realised you have bolts left over that don't fit anywhere, that the instructions manual is even searched for!:eek: 
> Cheers,

  With me it's a point of pride. Reading the instructions can stunt your creativity. If I don't have any bits left over I feel I haven't been innovate enough in the assembly. Like the time I left the big end bearing locators out of the mates VW beetle motor. What are these little lugs for - can't be that important!

----------


## Andy Mac

I've done similar with gudgeon pin circlips on a lawn mower, the only bits left...*groan*...pull the bugger back down again and put them in! 
Cheers,

----------


## Driver

> Just a quick question for the Drafting Committee:   Whilst studying the Code today I realized that Para. 6 (Tools) does not proscribe a Bloke from reading a tools Instructional Manual. :eek:     What say you?

  Bob 
Mate, you're in danger of committing a Code violation :eek: by referring to an out-of-date version. The most recent update is your guide. Backtrack through this thread and have a hard look. 
Col

----------


## silentC

I may have you call you up on that point, Brother Driver.  
Keeping up-to-date documentation of anything, even of the code itself, is verging on chapiness. I must admit that I am undecided whether referring to an old version of the code, and thereby committing an offence, or failing to carry out some action prescribed therein, is more of a concern than the chapiness associated with the diligent observance of the update path of the document itself.  
This is a quandry. Is it covered in the current version? No! Don't tell me, I don't want to know!

----------


## silentC

Further pondering on the above has revealed to me an alarming paradox, which I hope you can put right. In essence, we are saying that to read a manual is not acceptable under the code. If the code itself can in any way be construed as a "manual", well you can see the dangerous position this puts us in.

----------


## Driver

> I must admit that I am undecided whether referring to an old version of the code, and thereby committing an offence, or failing to carry out some action prescribed therein, is more of a concern than the chapiness associated with the diligent observance of the update path of the document itself.

  And you're calling me up!?! :eek:  
....and as for :Redface:    

> Further pondering on the above has revealed to me an alarming paradox, which I hope you can put right. In essence, we are saying that to read a manual is not acceptable under the code. If the code itself can in any way be construed as a "manual", well you can see the dangerous position this puts us in.

  I have three comments :Redface:  
1. It's the Code, man, *the Code.* It's not a manual. They're for fools with tools (as opposed to blokes, you understand).  
2. And you're calling me up!?! :eek:  
3.  :Tongue:   :Tongue:   :Tongue:   :Tongue:   :Tongue:   :Tongue:   :Tongue:

----------


## silentC

Ok, well if you are sure it's not a manual, then I suppose it's alright. I haven't read it yet, just to be safe. 
I suppose it's a bit like the old test of witchery. They push you off a cliff, if you survive you're a witch, if you die you're not. If you read the code and it confirms what you already know, then you are a bloke. But if you learn something from it, then you are not and never can be a true bloke.

----------


## Wongo

Shame on you silent. Shame shame shame.   :Biggrin:

----------


## silentC

Did you know that Derryn Hinch never actually said that?

----------


## echnidna

> Is it covered in the current version? No! Don't tell me, I don't want to know!

  Exactly right. 
We don't have to know the rules so therefore we are all innocent  :Cool:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> Did you know that Derryn Hinch never actually said that?

  I thing it was Steve Vizard taking the P out of Daren Hunch. 
Now what is this with you pushing the witches off me???? :confused:

----------


## Wongo

I always thought that Derryn Hinch is the guy from fast forward. Don't blame me, you guys all look the same so how can I tell the difference.  :Biggrin:

----------


## Driver

> Ok, well if you are sure it's not a manual, then I suppose it's alright. I haven't read it yet, just to be safe.

  Don't be shy  :Wink:  - you're a member of the Drafting Committee.    

> I suppose it's a bit like the old test of witchery. They push you off a cliff, if you survive you're a witch, if you die you're not..

  The modern version of this is Catch-22.   

> If you read the code and it confirms what you already know, then you are a bloke. But if you learn something from it, then you are not and never can be a true bloke.

  See! I knew you understood really. :Smilie:     

> We don't have to know the rules so therefore we are all innocent

  ...and this is the absolutely brilliant get-out clause that counters Catch-22! :Wink:

----------


## echnidna

> ...and this is the absolutely brilliant get-out clause that counters Catch-22!

  Yeah, I needed that in coz I NEVER read rules or instructions  :Cool:

----------


## macman

G'day blokes, 
Firstly, what a top thread, chuckles and even a guffaw or two while at work the other day. It occurred to me this weekend ( a domestic one) that there is probably room for some general observations on colours. 
Puce, lilac, taup etc are definitely not bloke colours, it is probably not even permissable for a bloke to use these in general conversation. THere are a couple of very borderline ones, pink and beige etc. We all know that timber can be available in pink prime and there are particularly blokey things that are always pink. Beige is pretty borderline, but a necessity to avoid colours like taup, lilac and puce. 
Matt

----------


## journeyman Mick

> .............. Beige is pretty borderline, but a necessity to avoid colours like taup, lilac and puce. 
> Matt

  They're colours? I thought they were exotic diseases! :eek:  
Mick

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## Driver

There's a colour called 'taup'? :confused:  
Mate (lowers voice and looks over shoulder), I have a vague disquiet about this. It might even be a Code violation to know that there's a colour called taup. :eek: And puce? Isn't that what happens when you've had far too many blokely drinks followed by a kebab? :Shock:

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## silentC

It's ok, he didn't spell it right, so he's OK.   
OH NO! I've just outed myself. Quick, think of something. How 'bout those Wallabies, eh?  :Shock:

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## scooter

> It's ok, he didn't spell it right, so he's OK.   
> OH NO! I've just outed myself. Quick, think of something. How 'bout those Wallabies, eh?

   :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:

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## TassieKiwi

Cliff, it's spelt 'berf'dy.  And, 'Baaa-b-que' where I'm from.  You invite the cute wooly ones, which really makes them nervous, for more than one reason too (as they eye the special wellies in the corner). :Wink:

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## havenoideaatall

No self-respecting bloke knows of the existence of 'tourquoise' either. 
It's a funny blue or green, the word is taken to be some marine mammal. 
Might get away with aqua-marine.

----------


## silentC

So how do you know about it, eh? What have you got to say for yourself, hmm?

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## Driver

> Might get away with aqua-marine.

  No, you wouldn't.  :Cool:

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## Cliff Rogers

He would if he was drinking it.  :Wink:   :Biggrin:

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## Ashore

Paint the inside walls of a shed ? , other than the occasional patch of overspray , or a patch to see what colour it drys to , a spill splash etc, or a bit of white gloss to draw or sketch on , why would you paint the inside, no one sees the walls , there covered in calander pickies , tapping and other charts, shadow boards, shelves, cupboards , timber racks, fridge , hooks with leads etc .
Damm waste of time for a bloke to paint the inside walls IMO  :Rolleyes:

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## Driver

> He would if he was drinking it.

  No, he wouldn't. With a name like that, it has *got* to be a chap's drink.  :Wink:

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## Woodgrub

To Driver:
The front page cover needs to have the word "SHED" somewhere on it.
As "The Code of Pratice" refers to anything. 
"The Shed Code of Pratice"
"Shed's Code of Pratice"
"Code of Pratice for a Shed" 
just trying help... :Smilie:

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## Driver

> To Driver:
> The front page cover needs to have the word "SHED" somewhere on it.
> As "The Code of Pratice" refers to anything. 
> "The Shed Code of Pratice"
> "Shed's Code of Pratice"
> "Code of Pratice for a Shed" 
> just trying help...

  
Woodgrub 
Think about it like this: there is only one Code of Practice that's of any real worth and that's our Code of Practice.  
In other words, *the* Code of Practice. 
Any bloke, when referring to the Code of Practice knows what it is about. No further explanation is necessary.

----------


## Caliban

> Don't blame me, you guys all look the same so how can I tell the difference.

  Do the math Scott! :Rolleyes:

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## havenoideaatall

When I was 18, I had one of those MA-1 Yank flying jackets. They were all the rage in the early 90s. 
Mine was blue, but some of the girls said it was green, aquamarine-tourquoise. To this day I still say it was blue.

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## Caliban

I'm starting to think that colour blindness (real or affected) is an essential part of being a real bloke. After all 1 in 5 of us have real colourblindness, and it's as good an excuse as not knowing the rules. I mean it's all black and white (except for the occasional technicolour yawn. But then you're feeling a little off colour anyway.......)

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## Cliff Rogers

> ...(except for the occasional technicolour yawn. But then you're feeling a little off colour anyway.......)

  I was wondering.... is carrot a colour or a texture? :confused:

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

> Think about it like this: there is only one Code of Practice that's of any real worth and that's our Code of Practice.  
> In other words, *the* Code of Practice. 
> Any bloke, when referring to the Code of Practice knows what it is about. No further explanation is necessary.

  Damned right!  'Sides, I'm pretty sure it defines a shed as being the "domain of a bloke."  (Well...  I think it does.  I'll get SWMBO to check it out later.   :Rolleyes:  )     
By including "shed" in the title you're tempting SWMBO, some chaps and the uninitiated into assuming it only applies to the shack out the back, when we know better.  Why make trouble for ourselves?  It's _The Code_.  Leave it at that...

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> When I was 18, I had one of those MA-1 Yank flying jackets. They were all the rage in the early 90s. 
> Mine was blue, but some of the girls said it was green, aquamarine-tourquoise. To this day I still say it was blue.

  Like either of these? (don't pick the one on the left 'cos they call is 'sage' :eek: ) http://store1.yimg.com/I/a-army-navydepot_1846_70169375

----------


## Riverland

For some reason l cant open up the code of practice bugger:confused:

----------


## scooter

> I was wondering.... is carrot a colour or a texture? :confused:

  Actually a projectile, Cliff  :Wink:

----------


## havenoideaatall

> Like either of these? (don't pick the one on the left 'cos they call is 'sage' :eek: ) http://store1.yimg.com/I/a-army-navydepot_1846_70169375

  that's the style. If memory serves, there were real ones, made to septic govt contracts,  and 'fake' ones. Mine was a real one. My first was blue a fake- then I got a grouse green one.

----------


## 11011100

:Rolleyes:  Blokes - sorry it's taken a while for *THE* *Code of Practice* to reach the UK shores.  
Recently I moved some of my tools into the house to mend a light, and absentmindedly left them out of the shed for a few days. :Shock:   
:eek: SWMBO used said tools in my absence - nightmare!!! :eek:  
I know it goes without saying that SWMBO must not use a Blokes tools EVER, but what has *THE* *Code of Practice* to say about this violation? 
:confused:  Please help...

----------


## Cliff Rogers

Bloody hell, you are damned lucky she didn't confiscate them. :eek:

----------


## Driver

> I know it goes without saying that SWMBO must not use a Blokes tools EVER, but what has *THE* *Code of Practice* to say about this violation? 
> :confused:  Please help...

  Listen, mate: your description of the appalling catastrophe that has befallen you (and, by the way, to which you have personally contributed) has shaken to the very core a number of blokes on this side of the globe. 
Before we can adequately respond with blokely advice and point you in the direction of the appropriate section of the Code of Practice, we'll need to take stock (and, in all probability, a certain amount of strong blokely drink). 
We'll get back to you. 
Meanwhile, do not, repeat, *do not*, do anything you might later regret. I recommend assuming a thoughtful expression and adoption of the standing and/or leaning position.

----------


## Skew ChiDAMN!!

It's a pity Ruffly didn't finish the blokette version of the code, but for the sake of argument let's assume the SWMBO under discussion is a blokette.  After all, it's stated that she _used_ the tools. 
In such a situation, then _she_ is blatantly in violation of code sec. 6.3.1 & 6.3.2, hopefully she did not compound her situation by also violating sec. 6.3.3  
If, on the other hand, she could _not_ ordinarily be considered a blokette...  [shakes head]    You ninny!   :Biggrin:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

OK Geordie boy, I'm 2 hours ahead of Col so I've already finished my bottle of red.... 
Here is my opinion. 
It all happened outside of the shed so there was no code violation.  :Cool:   
But I still reckon you are bloody lucky she didn't confiscate them.  :Tongue:   
Have a warm beer & go to the shed & sharpen anything that is now blunt, (including your pin head) and let this be a lesson.  :Biggrin:

----------


## Honorary Bloke

Geordie, 
It's quite simple, really. I have this happen regularly whilst performing tasks outside the Shed Proper. Invoking para. 5.1.1.4 I simply designate the temporary area where the tools reside as the Shed Annex (or, more commonly, the Shed Improper). Then, based upon para. 5.2.2 (not overlooking the implications of para. 5.2.2.1) leaving the tools in the Shed Improper is *NOT* a violation of the Code because it is, in fact, a sub-part of the Shed Proper.  :Biggrin:   
However . . . under para. 6.3 _et seq_. your SWMBO *did*, in fact, commit a Code violation by using the tools and is in serious danger of losing her blokette status.:eek:  I suggest a caution card at the very minimum. :Rolleyes:

----------


## Driver

> In such a situation, then _she_ is blatantly in violation of code sec. 6.3.1 & 6.3.2, hopefully she did not compound her situation by also violating sec. 6.3.3  
> If, on the other hand, she could _not_ ordinarily be considered a blokette...  [shakes head]    You ninny!

  Actually, Skew, I think you mean 6.4.1 to 6.4.3 - as they refer to Other Bloke's Tools. (You may be an update or two adrift of the latest version. This is not, in and of itself a Code violation, of course (we don't want to be too anal about these things, do we? :Rolleyes:  ) But I caution you to be careful, mate. A friendly piece of advice - nothing more. :Rolleyes:   
As to your query, 11011100 (er, d'ya mind if I call you 1? We're fairly informal over here in Oz). As I was saying, ....1...as to your query, I reckon my mate Ginger Rogers has summed it up admirably. (Except for his remarks about being ahead of me. What he means is that Queensland time is 2 hours earlier than Western Australian time. Any other imputation can be dismissed.  :Wink:  ) 
Howay, man 1 - after you've carried out your sharpening penance and genuflected in the direction of the Laws of Shed Physics,  open a couple of bottles of Amber and try to forget the whole horrible episode. 
Col

----------


## Honorary Bloke

Pip! I seem to be a bit adrift from the latest updates as well. :eek:   
Penance to follow. :Frown:

----------


## Skew ChiDAMN!!

> Actually, Skew, I think you mean 6.4.1 to 6.4.3 - as they refer to Other Bloke's Tools. (You may be an update or two adrift of the latest version. This is not, in and of itself a Code violation, of course (we don't want to be too anal about these things, do we? ) But I caution you to be careful, mate. A friendly piece of advice - nothing more.

  :eek:   I wonder if I can plead extenuating circumstances: I didn't receive written notification of any modifications??   
I would set myself a penance, but I had one of those weekends where even my hammers now have nice, crisp edges.   :Rolleyes:   As a result, any further testing of renewed edges would leave me open to accusations of chappish behaviour... and it's too damned cold to test 'em above the neckline. 
Errrmmm... is the current version v7?  I had to wander back through 10 pages to find it.   Do you realise how much that feels like reading an instruction manual?   :Frown:

----------


## Driver

> :eek:   I wonder if I can plead extenuating circumstances: I didn't receive written notification of any modifications??

  Extenuating circumstances? Written notification?  
Mate, do these phrases sound at all blokely?    

> Errrmmm... is the current version v7?  I had to wander back through 10 pages to find it.   Do you realise how much that feels like reading an instruction manual?

  The current version is the last one I posted into this thread. Bearing in mind my previous remark about not wanting to be too anal, you will appreciate that I don't actually know which version #that is :Wink:   :Tongue:   :Biggrin:   
Col

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> ..reckon my mate Ginger Rogers has summed it up admirably. (Except for his remarks about being ahead of me. What he means is that Queensland time is 2 hours earlier than Western Australian time. Any other imputation can be dismissed.  )...Col

  Where, in the code, does it refer to time zones, state supremisy, or smartarzedrey? :confused:  :Biggrin:   
(2 glasses into 2nd bottle, and with a (an) 8 day old cold, I'll be as good as Gumby tomorrow.  :Rolleyes:  ) 
Where were we?
(Note to Neil: I want a smile with a judge's face. :Cool:  ) 
I've forgotten wot I woz on about. :confused:  :Rolleyes:   
Oooo, I remember.... :eek: 
5.4. Decoration. Decoration of a shed is very important... 
Make her a decoration. (Means she has to pose nude on the shed wall for about 15 or 16 months but she'll get used to it I'm sure.  :Biggrin:  )

----------


## Cliff Rogers

She must be wearing green shoes. (insert judge's serious face here.)

----------


## Skew ChiDAMN!!

> Extenuating circumstances? Written notification?  
> Mate, do these phrases sound at all blokely?

  No, but every bloke should be able to understand weasel-speak.  Even if it is only so we know which monkeys to throw peanuts at

----------


## Driver

> Where, in the code, does it refer to time zones, state supremisy, or smartarzedrey?

  It doesn't. I was merely taking advantage of the fact that I knew - at this time of the evening you'd be halfway down your second bottle of red and ripe for a bit of p!ss-taking.  :Wink:   :Tongue:   :Biggrin:   
Incidentally, which varietal, vineyard and vintage is receiving your patronage this evening, Ginge?   

> ...but every bloke should be able to understand weasel-speak.

  "...understand weasel-speak..." - true. But to USE "weasel-speak" - MA-A-ATE! :eek:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> ... which varietal, vineyard and vintage is receiving your patronage this evening, Ginge?...

  Cleanskin 2005 Merlot from the III Associates, McLarenvale.
$6.67 a bottle landed in Cairns.  :Biggrin:   (if you buy a hogshead  :Rolleyes:  ) 
Mate & I went halfs in a Hogshead.
1 x Hopgsheads = 33 cartons= 396 bottles = 198 bottle each.  :Rolleyes:  
We have about 75 bottles left.  :Biggrin:   
RRP $18.50 a bottle cellar door.  :Smilie:

----------


## baxter

> She must be wearing green shoes.

  Why Cliff, do you want to drink your wine out of them! :Biggrin:   or just hope that they are shiney? :Rolleyes:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> Why Cliff, ....

  You didn't look at the bottom of the picture did you?  :Rolleyes:   :Biggrin:  
Picture has moved to here. http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...548#post373548

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## Driver

> Cleanskin 2005 Merlot from the III Associates, McLarenvale.
> $6.67 a bottle landed in Cairns.   (if you buy a hogshead  ) 
> Mate & I went halfs in a Hogshead.
> 1 x Hopgsheads = 33 cartons= 396 bottles = 198 bottle each.  
> We have about 75 bottles left.   
> RRP $18.50 a bottle cellar door.

  You got yourself what sounds like a great price. How's it drinking? Any good? 
I'm running a bit low in the red section of the cellar and need to re-stock. When you did that deal, did you get an opportunity to have a bit of a slurp before you bought?

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> ... When you did that deal, did you get an opportunity to have a bit of a slurp before you bought?

  Not really, (I mean, it is drinking fine, I didn't get to try it.) to get the good price, you prebuy & pay it off over 4 months before it arrives.
We have had heaps from that winery & none was ever crook so we were going on reputation.

----------


## Auld Bassoon

> She must be wearing green shoes. (insert judge's serious face here.)

  
H'mmm Cliff! 
I'd like to see your photo album some time - or is that one of your offspring  :Biggrin:   The thing is, can she joint a board?

----------


## baxter

> You didn't look at the bottom of the picture did you?

  yes how else would I have noticed that she was wearing sandals that had a back to hold the wine :Wink:  ?

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> Cleanskin 2005 Merlot from the III Associates, McLarenvale.
> $6.67 a bottle landed in Cairns.  (if you buy a hogshead  ) 
> Mate & I went halfs in a Hogshead.
> 1 x Hopgsheads = 33 cartons= 396 bottles = 198 bottle each.  
> We have about 75 bottles left.   
> RRP $18.50 a bottle cellar door.

  For those who have asked...
The III Associates, McLaren Vale. http://www.associates.com.au/ 
Cheers.

----------


## baxter

Come on Cliff, don't change the subject.  Tell us more about the green shoes!

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> Come on Cliff, don't change the subject. Tell us more about the green shoes!

  Well, if you can't work it out, you are on ya own mate 'cos if I do try to explain it to you, I'll just get m'self & Benny ('cos he can't help himself) in trouble all over again.  :Rolleyes:   :Cool:   :Biggrin:  (Hint. The blue bits, not the green bits  :Rolleyes:  ) 
For anybody who is totally lost, we have to go all the way back to the original question about what to do about the use of the tools by the 'significant other,' & I refered to the Code of Practice 5.4. Decoration. Decoration of a shed is very important... 
Make her ('significant other') a decoration. (Means she has to pose nude on the shed wall for about 15 or 16 months but she'll get used to it I'm sure.  :Biggrin:  )
BUT _only_ if she ('significant other') has green shoes. (and for the slow ones, blue bits & pink bits like the example.... damn I'm just getting in deeper here. :eek: ) 
If she is like the example in the green shoes, you may even like to look at section 6.2 Collections.  :Rolleyes:  
Well.... now it sort of looks like I'm waffling 'cos some 'kind helpful sole' has removed the picture of the 'example with green shoes'.... damn  :Rolleyes:  ... now I'll have to start a new thread in OS & link to it.  :Biggrin: 
Picture has moved to here. http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...548#post373548

----------


## Cliff Rogers

BTW Col... while doing my home work to get my facts & figures (no pun intended) straight (Now why would I do that?  :Rolleyes:   What the hell would I do with a straight figure. :confused: ) I found an error in continuity in the code.  
Parra 5.4 about decorations refers to para 5.4 in the text & it should refer to para 5.6. Otherwise you have a recursivivity.

----------


## Driver

> BTW Col... while doing my home work to get my facts & figures (no pun intended) straight (Now why would I do that?   What the hell would I do with a straight figure. :confused: ) I found an error in continuity in the code.  
> Parra 5.4 about decorations refers to para 5.4 in the text & it should refer to para 5.6. Otherwise you have a recursivivity.

  Thanks, mate. I'll fix it in the next update. (Could be a while. We haven't had any contributions for some time now).

----------


## 11011100

> Thanks, mate. I'll fix it in the next update. (Could be a while. We haven't had any contributions for some time now).

  What about a bit in the code about SWMBO's not using a blokes tools! and penalties for those that do. (Not sure about the green shoes!)  
I had a few pints, after SWMBO used my tools, just to get over it, tried  leaning and staring, tried sharpening a few bits and bobs, but I think I might just have a few more (pints) - just in case I'm not over it...  :Biggrin:   
Anyone recommend a good Aussie wine? (red of course)?  :Wink:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> ...Anyone recommend a good Aussie wine? (red of course)?

  Yeap, the only sort.  :Biggrin:   
Nuh, seriously, I picked up a 2002 Cockfighter's Ghost Langhorne Creek Cab Sav for $20 & it was damned good for the price.
They also have a good Cab Merlot, a Shiraz &, if there is nothing else left, they have a very good unwooded chard. (see 8.3.7, or you can always say you bought it to impress a shiela.  :Wink:  ) 
PS. Hang her to the wall like a poster, even if she isn't wearing green shoes.  :Wink:

----------


## Driver

OK - it's time to issue an update of The Code. 
In another thread (see: http://www.woodworkforums.com/showthread.php?p=448153) Dennis Millard posted a very good poem about sheds and woodworking. It was so good, in fact, that it really should be included within The Code. Anyway, Dennis has kindly given his permission and so _"History In The Shed"_ is now Appendix D. 
On a completely unrelated subject, it has been troubling the present writer for some while that DanP, that worthy walloper from country Victoria, saw it as an issue that the expression "life partner" was used to some extent throughout early versions of The Code. He felt - quite strongly - that the correct expression should be SWMBO. On lengthy consideration I have come to the conclusion that DanP is correct. SWMBO is the term of choice on these venerable forums so SWMBO it should be in The Code. The required changes have been made. Thanks, Dan.  :Smilie:   
The Drafting Committee has also taken the opportunity to make some necessary changes to various inaccurate cross-references throughout the text and to correct a couple of typos and one piece of inaccurate grammar. 
If anyone spots any other errors they can either post a reference to the offending passage or elect to keep it to themselves. No prizes for spotting the cock-ups, just that warm glow of self-righteousness and the knowledge that you have been appropriately recognised by your peers. (Smart@rse!) 
Col

----------


## Lignum

Is the Domino mentioned the code?  It shoud be, when you consider over 17,000 have already viewed just one thread "Festoop Domino Experience...."  :Confused:

----------


## Driver

> Is the Domino mentioned the code?  It shoud be, when you consider over 17,000 have already viewed just one thread "Festoop Domino Experience...."

  If, Brother Lignum, you feel moved to pen a suggested amendment to The Code that specifically mentions the Domino and this meets the approval of the Drafting Committee (see page 29 of the latest updated version of The Code), the Domino may find itself achieving a mention.  :Wink:

----------


## Waldo

G'day Brother Committee Member Driver, 
It has occured to me in reading the newly ammeneded Code, that under Section 5, might it be warranted to have the inclusion that blokes who may feel the need to have their shed accredited as an Accredited Shed after submitting it Shed Scientist, Director of the Australasian Institute of Backyard Studies thomsonm@senet.com.au. See http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...ad.php?t=19202 .While not a requirment of a shed being a shed, that said blokes may proudly grunt and point towards the sticker, thus gaining recognition in their endevours from their neighbour or peer as being a bloke with a shed?

----------


## Howdya do that

Fantastic document Driver :2thumbsup:  
It should be taught in schools

----------


## Driver

> G'day Brother Committee Member Driver, 
> It has occured to me in reading the newly ammeneded Code, that under Section 5, might it be warranted to have the inclusion that blokes who may feel the need to have their shed accredited as an Accredited Shed after submitting it Shed Scientist, Director of the Australasian Institute of Backyard Studies thomsonm@senet.com.au. See http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...ad.php?t=19202 .While not a requirment of a shed being a shed, that said blokes may proudly grunt and point towards the sticker, thus gaining recognition in their endevours from their neighbour or peer as being a bloke with a shed?

  G'day Brother Committee Member Waldo, 
Excellent suggestion. Shed Scientist's work should be more widely recognised and you've found a way to do it. If Shed Scientist should read this perhaps he could give us an opinion?

----------


## DanP

Bout bluddy time.

----------


## John99

:Wave:  :Roflmao:  :Coolio:  :Lolol:  :You rock2:  :Wtg:  :Groupwave:  :Laugh bounce:  :Rotfl:  :Yippy:  :Clapping:  :Hahaha:  :Thewave:  :Rotfl:  :Roflmao2:  :Clap2:  :Woot:  :Biggrin thumb:  :Hooray:  :Yes:  :Brava: )( 
Bloody Ripper ! 
thank you all

----------


## ss_11000

thanx all for writing such a great document :2thumbsup:

----------


## Driver

Following some recent correspondence on the vexed question of whether or not a bloke should loan tools to another bloke or blokes, our septic mate, Honorary Bloke, suggested that The Code needed to cover this important and potentially touchy subject. Accordingly, The Code has been updated to include a new section (para 6.5:  *Borrowing and lending tools* - a touchy subject). 
Honorary Bloke has been added to the list of Drafting Committee members on page 30. (Thanks for the input, Bob  :Biggrin:  ) 
As is customary with Code updates, changes to the text have been highlighted in yellow. 
Blokes are advised to familiarise themselves with the updates so as to avoid potential Code violations.

----------


## echnidna

Dontha reckon the C of P has got so big its become THE rule book?  :Rolleyes:   
Yet the Code prohibits reading any instructions.  :2thumbsup:   
So is the Code gunna fly away with the Woop Woop Bird?  :Biggrin:

----------


## Driver

> Dontha reckon the C of P has got so big its become THE rule book?   
> Yet the Code prohibits reading any instructions.   
> So is the Code gunna fly away with the Woop Woop Bird?

  Read it again, mate. It's not a manual. It's The Code. 
Quote: 
"Para 5 *The Shed* 
What a bloke does in his shed is up to him ...." 
If you want to make The Code fly away from your shed, that's your choice. 
However: 
Quote: 
Para 5 *The Shed* 
"If a bloke chooses to ignore this guidance, well, he has that right but it would be a foolish bloke who knowingly transgresses The Code and commits a violation."    :Wink:   :Wink:   :Wink:   :Wink:   :Wink:   :Wink:   :Wink:   :Wink:   :Wink:   :Cool:   :Cool:

----------


## dadpad

Naturally my instinctive blokelyness did not allow me to actually read the whole code (i did however skim parts here and there). 
Now! There did not appear to be any mention of curtains. Obviously curtains would NOT allowed even under threat of complete withdrawl of conjiguls curtains would not be allowed but can an exemption could be granted in this case. 
The sun, in the afternoon is glaring in through the one window I have in my shed, making visibility quite difficult at my workbench. As i see it my options are: 
1. Knock off for the day and have a beer
2. Go to the pub.
3. Nail a couple of hessian wheat bags to the framing above the window as a temporary measure. 
Also if i go with 3. should I use flat head nails or bullet heads but only nailed halfway in and then bent over to stop the bags sliding off.

----------


## silentC

I've got the same problem in my office (which is in the back of the shed). I got an old drawer and stuck it up on the inside of the window. Problem solved in a half-arsed blokely way  :Wink:

----------


## Bleedin Thumb

> Problem solved in a half-arsed blokely way

  
IS there any other way? As blokes we are condemned to have to live, breath and think like this.
But do we complain? No :No:   
Often we are criticised for these very traits by the fairer sex. 
If they realised the pain that is caused by the dilemma of perfectionist vs blokeyness then surely we would see more empathy. :Smilie:   
PS I hope you have removed those curtains Cliff.

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> PS I hope you have removed those curtains Cliff.

  Been gone for a while now, one was covering a window where I needed to put a fan & the other was on the window in the wall than got clobbered by Larry. (Saved me a job.  :Tongue:  )
Please note how they are carefully stored.

----------


## Poppa

Superb. Excellent thread. The Code is just great. Well, from what I could tell in a quick glance anyway. Thanks to all who contributed.  :2thumbsup:   :2thumbsup:   :2thumbsup:

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## Thickasaplank

Oh great and wonderous wood butchers, yes yea who have created this document of knowledge, let me bow before you, and humbly offer up my words of wisdom. :Bowdown:   :Bowdown:   
Let no bloke with multi coloured hair enter my shed. Let blokes only have hair the colour that the big man intended.  
Let no discussion be entered into about hairstyles, or so called "product" (other than brill cream) within the confines of said shed. Such product that is needed to keep ones hair out of ones eyes shall be obtained by such blokey behavior as spitting on ones hand or in absolute emergencies see the film "there is something about Mary" 
 While at the barber shop, let no bloke utter more than "short back and sides" Any more discussion with the barber about hairstyles shall be deemed chappish, and will probably be followed by accepting fruity drinks with umbrellas in them.  
Furthermore, unless absolutely certain of ones blokely stature, a mullet shall be considered to be a health hazard and shall be removed by any safety consious mate as soon as possible. 
Thank you o oderous men of the wood for allowing my submission.   :2thumbsup:

----------


## mcarthur

> While at the barber shop, let no bloke utter more than "short back and sides" Any more discussion with the barber about hairstyles shall be deemed chappish, and will probably be followed by accepting fruity drinks with umbrellas in them.

  Hey, I think "Number 3 please" is OK as well  :1eye:    

> Furthermore, unless absolutely certain of ones blokely stature, a mullet shall be considered to be a health hazard and shall be removed by any safety consious mate as soon as possible.

  
That's what a bandsaw's for  :Eek:  :2thumbsup:  
Rob

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## Cliff Rogers

OK... most of this has already been covered by other sections of The Code. 
I would like to draw you attention to following :Redface: 
4.2. The purpose of a shed. 
The purpose of a shed is to provide an environment and territory wherein *a bloke has* *total and complete dominion and control and is therefore happy*. 
See the first paragraph of this section....
5. The Shed *What a bloke does in his shed is up to him* (see para 3  Definitions, sub para 3.2  Shed and para 4  Purposes, sub para 4.2  The purpose of a shed). It is clear from these important sections of the Code of Practice that *a bloke has complete control over all activities within his own shed*. This is inviolable. However, the Code is designed to provide appropriate guidance (see para 1  Scope). What follows in this section is intended to provide a bloke with some clear guidance. If a bloke chooses to ignore this guidance, well, he has that right but it would be a foolish bloke who knowingly transgresses the Code and commits a violation.  
See also:
5.15. Hospitality. A bloke should make provision for entertaining his mates.  
So, if you don't like his hair, he probably isn't your mate anyway so you don't have to be hospitable to him. Problem solved.  :2thumbsup:

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## Wild Dingo

> O
> Let no discussion be entered into about hairstyles, or so called "product" (other than brill cream) within the confines of said shed. Such product that is needed to keep ones hair out of ones eyes shall be obtained by such blokey behavior as spitting on ones hand or in absolute emergencies see the film "there is something about Mary"

  Brylbloodycream?? Get a flamin grip!! that went out with the dinosaurs mate! its Californian Poppy all the way mate!! slicks back slicker than a wet chick flat on her back  :2thumbsup:

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## MarkV

> Furthermore, unless absolutely certain of ones blokely stature, a mullet shall be considered to be a health hazard and shall be removed by any safety consious mate as soon as possible.

  I have always thought that mullets were the ultimate expression of Blokeness in that Woman generally hate them they are a throwback to a gentler Era :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):  when most blokes couldn't even spell political correctness let alone attempt to interpret feeling emotions and stuff. Plus finally they generally look appalling!! You can't get more blokey that that surely??

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## Driver

> ... by such *blokey* behavior as spitting on ones hand....

   

> You can't get more *blokey* that that surely??

  Gents 
At the risk of appearing a tad over-conscientious, I should point out to you that the correct blokely term is *"blokely".*  
"Blokey" is an expression used by SWMBOs and other non-blokes to describe activities engaged in by blokes. It's an expression which is only ever used by said SWMBOs when they wish to denigrate our blokely pursuits. Use by a bloke of this non-blokely expression doesn't automatically constitute a Code violation but I urge you to caution. 
Col the Cautionary

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## Cliff Rogers

G'day Col, where have you been?  :Smilie:

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## Driver

G'day Cliff 
I've been here all along, mate. A bit busy however. Some mates asked me to help them start up a new business. It needs my full-time involvement for several months and I'm starting at around 4.00 am every day.  
Good fun but very time-consuming! 
Col

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## Cliff Rogers

Struth! What are you doing? Writing a code of practice for a bakery?  :Biggrin:

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## Driver

> Struth! What are you doing? Writing a code of practice for a bakery?

  No - but now you mention it ....... :Wink:   
Actually, I've noticed the bakers are just about the only people who are already awake by the time I'm on my way to work (at the fruit and veg markets, by the way).

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

Lemme guess..  you're doing temp work as the futch-up fairy, running around visiting various woodies' sheds in the wee hours, loosening screws on equipment, changing the clamping positions on overnight glue-ups and shortening one leg out of every four?

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## Waldo

> Lemme guess..  you're doing temp work as the futch-up fairy, running around visiting various woodies' sheds in the wee hours, loosening screws on equipment, changing the clamping positions on overnight glue-ups and shortening one leg out of every four?

  G'day, 
If that's what's been goin' on, then no wonder Dingo has been having all this grief over his thicknesser. Damn Stuff-up Fairies.

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

Hmmm... yeah...  both in WA...  more fuel for my suspicions! 
It'd be nice to have something in the Code banning these fairies from our sheds, but I'm not sure whether they can read.  They certainly ignore the plans I leave next to my pieces when I lock up for the day!

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## Driver

> Lemme guess..  you're doing temp work as the futch-up fairy, running around visiting various woodies' sheds in the wee hours, loosening screws on equipment, changing the clamping positions on overnight glue-ups and shortening one leg out of every four?

   

> G'day, 
> If that's what's been goin' on, then no wonder Dingo has been having all this grief over his thicknesser. Damn Stuff-up Fairies.

   

> Hmmm... yeah...  both in WA...  more fuel for my suspicions! 
> It'd be nice to have something in the Code banning these fairies from our sheds, but I'm not sure whether they can read.  They certainly ignore the plans I leave next to my pieces when I lock up for the day!

  You blokes need to read the Code again and stop believing in fairies!  :Rolleyes:   
Cock-ups are not just unavoidable, they're compulsory. A bloke doesn't need fairies to help him create a cock-up, he's perfectly capable of getting there all on his own.

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## Cliff Rogers

> You blokes need to read the Code again and stop believing in fairies!  
> ..... A bloke doesn't need fairies to help him create a cock-up, he's perfectly capable of getting there all on his own.

  Pizz fairies on the other hand, are a different story.  :Cool:

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## RufflyRustic

Please could the Code be updated to include allowance for the use of 'internal security window covers' as this would mean curtains are definitely never allowed in sheds. 
Thanks
Wendy
Inventor of the Internal Security Window Cover trend :Rolleyes:

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## echnidna

Nope, can't do that.
But yer can hang cleaning rags over the windows

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## wheelinround

I am amazed where did you guys get the time to creat the worlds best CODE this is exceptionally a one off document  :2thumbsup:  :2thumbsup:  :2thumbsup:  :2thumbsup:  
I only had time to skim WOW 
I have created a PDF and willing to forward it to anyone if they'd prefer or if there is an area it can be permenantly posted to its just 175kb 
or should i just attache it

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## Groggy

> Nope, can't do that.
> But yer can hang cleaning rags over the windows

  Perhaps if they were cleaning rags that had been cleaned and hung to dry ready for re-use. You couldn't call 'em curtains though, that wouldn't be right.

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## Driver

> Please could the Code be updated to include allowance for the use of 'internal security window covers' as this would mean curtains are definitely never allowed in sheds. 
> Thanks
> Wendy
> Inventor of the Internal Security Window Cover trend

   

> Nope, can't do that.
> But yer can hang cleaning rags over the windows

   

> Perhaps if they were cleaning rags that had been cleaned and hung to dry ready for re-use. You couldn't call 'em curtains though, that wouldn't be right.

  Curtains!?!???! Did someone mention curtains? Surely not! 
Wendy, you can't mean those french polishing rubber cloths that you have hanging down the RH side of your new shed, can you? I mean, they're not curtains. They can't be because it's an immutable Law of Shed Physics, as you know, that any piece of cloth present in the shed, unless it forms part of a bloke's blokely attire, can and will be taken down and used to wipe up stuff, apply stuff, clean up stuff, smear stuff around, soak up stuff and generally play a part in stuff - including stuff-ups. 
Curtains, I mean to say! Per-lease!!!

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## echnidna

Theres no rule about cleanin cloths not being frilly an lacey

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## RufflyRustic

just don't tell anyone there yours, Right Echnida?  :Eek:   :Tongue:   :Biggrin:     
Carn Guys - but they're there to keep prying eyes out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Surely under shed security they'd be allowed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
mumble, mumble.......   :Kick Can:

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

I dunno,  You people.   :No:  
Surely everybody knows they're really tack cloths?  They're ideally positioned and all!  You just take the piece you want to clean over into the better light by the window and there they are... all ready to remove those last few offending specks of dust.   :Biggrin:

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## Driver

> I dunno,  You people.   
> Surely everybody knows they're really tack cloths?  They're ideally positioned and all!  You just take the piece you want to clean over into the better light by the window and there they are... all ready to remove those last few offending specks of dust.

  'Swhat I was sayin'. See, Wendy. We knew they weren't curtains. 
Curtains! C'mon.....!

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## Groggy

> just don't tell anyone there yours, Right Echnida?       
> Carn Guys - but they're there to keep prying eyes out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Surely under shed security they'd be allowed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> mumble, mumble.......

  Security blinds! That's not bad, ya can't have ya tools being perved on by the great unwashed out there. Now you're getting the idea.  :2thumbsup:

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## Burnsy

I think all glass coatings/covers/security should only be as applied by the friendly shed spiders collecting dust and creating a lovely non see through haze or that mud/slobber and fresh blood mix as applied by a large black dog trying to look through the window but not realising his nose really is that long.

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## Honorary Bloke

Ruffly, 
The pieces of fabric in question are not, in my opinion, Code violations as such. To whit:  5.4 *Decoration*. Decoration of a shed is very important as it expresses a bloke’s personality and character. Decoration of the shed can include but shall not be limited to: old number plates, tin signs, tool stickers, calendars, charts, photos, posters, drawings, coasters, cobwebs (see para 5.4 _Cobwebs_) old bottles, old cans, old jars, old footballs and other superannuated sporting paraphernalia (no self-respecting shed is entirely complete without a bent and twisted wooden-framed tennis or squash racquet with busted real-gut strings) & information leaflets on every conceivable subject known to Man.   This leaves a lot of leeway for personal decisions. I believe we may safely posit that fabric hung on a wall (whether or not a window is present) is well within the rights of the bloke as it is his shed (please substitute sheila and gender-specific pronouns as necessary). Therefore, I submit to Driver (who is, after all the final arbiter in disputes of this sort) that so long as the fabric in question is not openly referred to as a "curtain" or as "lacy" but simply as part of the decoration of the shed (or perhaps as a safety device to protect your tools), that you are on safe ground.

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## Driver

Brother HB, you have the right of it!  :Smilie:   
Wendy, I reckon Bob has not only provided you with an excellent Get Out of Jail Free card but has pointed out , yet again, that The Code is sufficiently robust to meet and deal with any situation that can arise in the shed. 
Good result all round, I think. 
Well done, Bob. 
Col the Congratulatory

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## RufflyRustic

Whew!!!!!    
Thanks Guys!!  :2thumbsup:

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## dadpad

> Carn Guys - but they're there to keep prying eyes out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Surely under shed security they'd be allowed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> mumble, mumble.......

  I vote definitly no.   
A proper sheds windows would be covered with enough dirt grime and dust that no - one would be able to see in. In addition this situation creates an opportunity for a projectand the purchase of a new tool!  
How so? 
You need to replace the glass in your windows with opaque.  Of course you wont be able to find the damn glass cutter so you will have to buy a new one. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I have a friend in Canada who is a little concerned he may have gotten a dose of girl cooties (germs) by drinking milk from his significant other's glass.  
I suggested he take the quiz (Appendix B of THE CODE) in order to check.
In my opinion Canadians are a lot like Ozzyuns..... (just kept in the fridge for later on) so it prolly wont matter all that much. 
Q1. Can a furriner qualify for blokelyness assuming he is still living in his native country.?

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## Cliff Rogers

> ...A proper sheds windows would be covered with enough dirt grime and dust ...

  and cobwebs, mould, splattered oil, wax, paint, blood, mud......  :Biggrin:

----------


## Honorary Bloke

> Q1. Can a furriner qualify for blokelyness assuming he is still living in his native country.?

  Yes. 
For further edification, please check Posts 202 and 203 in this thread. Plus, my user name.  :Cool:   :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:

----------


## Wild Dingo

And now 25 pages later  :Doh:  ...do we have a DEFINITIVE cod of practice for the shed yet or is it still a "work in progress"? 
Im thinking of making it up into a document laminating it and then make a nice frame for it... then hang it PROMINENTLY in the shed  :2thumbsup:   
note... appropriate sections HIGHLIGHTED of course  :Wink 1:   
And Wendy? Your alternative name calling of the curtains in your sheds cannot and will not fool anyone!!! They are what yous sheilas call 
CURTAINS!!  :Annoyed:    
and are therefore a violation of the code... please remove them forthwith or else one of the nearby brethren of the code will have to take steps to resolve said violation  :Shock:  an if theyre too flamin scared of boofheaded spanner I will have to work a way around our distance issues and take you to task meself!  :Wink 1:

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

Definitive?  Hmmm...    :Hmm:   
Well... so far a few questions have been thrown into the ring and The Code has come through unscathed.   Sooner or later someone will ask a real poser that may require a redefinition, but until then...  :Fineprint:

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## RufflyRustic

...until then or when Wild Dingo visits my domain, I shall continue building up a more appropriate window dressing such as Cliff suggested  :Smilie:    Until then, those hanging things will just have to stay  :Rolleyes:   
cheers
Wendy

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## Black Ned

Is there any differences allowed to distinguish between a Blokes Shed and a Sheila's Shed?
Can sheila's have a official shed?
If all things must be Blokey, then is Wendy classified as a sheila, or an honorary bloke? 
And is Bob Childress a sheila posing as a bloke.

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## Gra

> Is there any differences allowed to distinguish between a Blokes Shed and a Sheila's Shed?
> Can sheila's have a official shed?
> If all things must be Blokey, then is Wendy classified as a sheila, or an honorary bloke? 
> And is Bob Childress a sheila posing as a bloke.

  I believe the code states that a bloke doesnt have to be a particular gender, they just have to meet certain criteria?  Am I wrong

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## NCArcher

> Im thinking of making it up into a document laminating it and then make a nice frame for it... then hang it PROMINENTLY in the shed

  Just so you know Dingo, The Code is now 30 pages long.
It's going to be one big @rse frame featuring very PROMINENTLY in the shed.  :Shock:

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## Gra

> Just so you know Dingo, The Code is now 30 pages long.
> It's going to be one big @rse frame featuring very PROMINENTLY in the shed.

  One word... Wall Paper

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

From memory, Wendy started compiling a Sheila's Code of Practice, but decided that _The_ Code was sufficient, with reversals of gender where applicable. 
I'm not sure whether this is mentioned in The Code, it has been a while since I checked  :Whip:   but if it isn't, perhaps it should be?  Then again, mebbe not... AFAICT wood and tools don't _care_ what the gender of the person they're biting is.   :Rolleyes:   
And while I'm asking... what's the latest revision?  The latest I have on HDD is 21 June 06...

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## silentC

> One word... Wall Paper

  That's two words, but let's not split hairs. I'm still waiting to see the DEFINITIVE _cod_ of practice. Sounds a bit fishy to me...

----------


## NCArcher

> And while I'm asking... what's the latest revision? The latest I have on HDD is 21 June 06...

  Post 326, page 22. Version 7 Feb'07

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

> Post 326, page 22. Version 7 Feb'07

  Ah... so I'm current then.  [Phew!]  (That's the Jun 06 version) 
Where has the time gone?   :Eek:

----------


## Driver

> Is there any differences allowed to distinguish between a Blokes Shed and a Sheila's Shed?
> Can sheila's have a official shed?
> If all things must be Blokey, then is Wendy classified as a sheila, or an honorary bloke? 
> And is Bob Childress a sheila posing as a bloke.

  Linden 
You've posed quite an interesting series of problems, mate.  
Y'see, if you had followed the evolution of the Code as it has evolved, then you wouldn't be in any doubt as to Wendy and Bob's joint and several blokeliness. 
Equally, if you had followed the evolution of the Code as it has evolved, or even if you had merely read the last several postings, you'd be aware that the expression "Blokey" is, in and of itself, unblokely.  :Eek:   
On the other hand, if you had followed the evolution of the Code as it has evolved, you could be accused of having read the bloody thing in detail - in itself almost a Code violation. 
So, the dilemma is: have you actually, by having a go at a couple of blokes, to whit: Wendy and Bob, and by using a SWMBO expression (ie, "Blokey") stepped across the line, or should we ignore these appalling transgressions and let your post go through to the keeper? 
Whaddaya think, girls? 
Col the Concerned.

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## wonderplumb

My shed has, amongst all the various car, motorcycle parts, fishing gear, camping gear, rifle safe, reloading gear, skins, skulls, tools, various bits and pieces ive collected and hung on the wall, parts cleaner, compressor, sink, toilet, WELL stocked fridge, etc. etc. a male dunny man on the door walking in and a female dunny girl on the door on the way out, with a sign that states "By invite only".

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## Honorary Bloke

> If all things must be Blokey, then is Wendy classified as a sheila, or an honorary bloke? 
> And is Bob Childress a sheila posing as a bloke.

  I'll let this pass--just the once.  :Rolleyes:   :Biggrin:   :Rolleyes:   :Biggrin:

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## smitthhyy

An excellent job creating a code for many blokes sheds today and into the future. 
Can I suggest a definition be added regarding "thongs". The intent should be for our international associates to not miss-understand what a thong is in Australia. For example using the US definition, wearing the thong could be a concern if worn and would probably not be seen as blokely.

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## Wild Dingo

> My shed has, ... a male dunny man on the door walking in and a female dunny girl on the door on the way out, with a sign that states "By invite only".

  Id like to see that!!  :2thumbsup:   :Biggrin:   
mmmmm so Im gonna have to go back and look for the damned code?... Rats and buggarbums! time for another slurp of the good oil before me brain zions zap emselves stupid an me eyesockets begin to bleed reading back through all those posts to find the friggin thing!! 
30 pages??? nah this thread ISNT the code the code is more definitive than this thread which is confusing and consistantly hijacked by suggestive red leatherette wearin "blokeys" which of itself is no doubt a violition of the code since were meant to be blokes its just not on wearin red leatherette!! and yet that blokey one continues to express the intent nay the contemptuous intent to leave those CURTAINS up over their shed windows!! A CLEAR VIOLATION!... the main problem I see with enforcing the code violation punishment is the fact that since such code violation punishment would require a cadre of brethren attending the offendees shed and taking down the offending CURTAINS and hanging the offendee by the gronicles from the roof trusses... unfortunately since the offendee is a blokey sort of non bloke they unfortunately do not have bloke bits to hang them from... thus we are in a state of conundrum with what to do by way of punishment for crimes against the code the offendee 
It is a problem that must be remedied and thus included within the code to send a clear and present warning to other "blokey" ones that curtains will not be tollerated in a blokes shed... red leatherette does not a bloke make!! 
As for Bob being a blokey type of bloke I have it on good authority that he is indeed a bloke by way of having those blokey bits earlier spoke of and thus being able to accept and face the punishment if he indeed were to violate the code by hanging curtains in his shed... whereas Ruffly is NOT a bloke but rather a "blokey" type person 
As for the code not discriminating by word usage the differences between a blokes shed and a sheilas shed unfortunately by virtue of this being the Politically Correct era of the year 2007 and not the wonderously non politically correct era of the 1950s through to 1980s during which era a BLOKE was a BLOKE and a SHEILA was a SHEILA and no variance betwixt or between was tollerated... a bloke had the shed the sheila the house... and thus Wendy being a sheila would in fact NOT have a shed but her boofheaded spanner nut of a hubby would have the shed and she being a sheila would have the house... thus the right order of things 
but now... now... we blokes have been degronicled to such an extent that now its not politically correct to have a blokes shed it must be a unisex shed... or as has been stated elsewhere a blokes shed and a "blokey" shed so in fact the code itself is in violation of the code!! thus this entire code thread could be seen as being in violition of the code itself by its very nature its contradictory consilitary politically correct and not by its nature done in a BLOKE type of way. 
So as a bloke who has a blokes shed I ask beseech an implore all brethren and sisteren to control thine emotions and stick to the facts! A blokes shed is his domain a sheilas shed is the house where of course everything goes other than the blokes gear in his blokes shed 
signed brother Dingo    :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:  stated like a true child of my time  :Sneaktongue:  and showing my age brilliantly  :Cry:  just out for a bit of fishing I am  :2thumbsup:

----------


## Cliff Rogers

> ....could be accused of having read the bloody thing in detail - in itself almost a Code violation......

  A bit like the line on the last page of Neil's Polisher's Handbook... I found it after I had read the whole book.  :Biggrin:    

> ....should we ignore these appalling transgressions and let your post go through to the keeper?

  Get that one will ya Gillie... Linden has 2 left feet, when one isn't in his mouth, the other one is.  :Tongue:    

> ....Whaddaya think, girls?

  Is that why you call me Ginge?  :Confused:

----------


## Wild Dingo

Okay what I am gonna do cause yous buggars wont is to try my hand at condensing that 30 page code of practice to something a bloke might actually read.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):   
So Im thinking something like this 
The Shed
Code of Practice 
1) ITS MY SHED 
2) If you dont like it PHISS OFF 
3) I will do what I want in MY SHED 
4) You as a visitor will ONLY do as I say when I say while in MY SHED 
5) No visitor no matter their relative relationship to me will dictate to me in MY SHED 
6) Enter MY SHED only if you intend to DO SOMETHING 
7) ASK BEFORE YOU PHART or do anything in MY SHED 
8) If you intend to enter MY SHED you will put beer in the shed fridge FIRST 
9) No frilly knickers curtains skirts or sheila type things will be allowed in MY SHED 
10) Stand outside MY SHED until I notice you do not disturb burp phart yell scream knock or otherwise try to get my attention, EVENTUALLY I will notice you. 
11) There is NO SUCH thing as an emergency outside of MY SHED while I am in said Shed, IF you have a problem deal with it I AM UNAVAILABLE until I leave shut and lock the shed door. 
12) See 1 above 
Anyone else want to try to make a condenced version of the 30 page code that may be more pc than the above is welcome to have at it. 
Im really starting to think we might just be able to design and impliment a MY SHED Code of Practice that we can submit to the University of Shed Studies and thus can be utilized and in every shed in the land!  :2thumbsup:  But we must get it to such a degree of understanding that any bloke or blokey type can read it and understand its simple message without having eye bleeds nose runs brain pharts or just plain waste away from dehydration and starvation while reading the sodding tomb!!  :Doh:

----------


## RufflyRustic

Geeez - where's that big sheet of bubble wrap I put aside for the windows (and then lost track of where it went)  :Rolleyes:

----------


## journeyman Mick

Shane,
This isn't like you! :Biggrin:   I thought you'd be taking the 30 pages of the code and rewriting them in your inimitable style so it becomes a 75 page code.  :Biggrin:   :Wink:   
Mick

----------


## Wild Dingo

> Shane,
> This isn't like you! I thought you'd be taking the 30 pages of the code and rewriting them in your inimitable style so it becomes a 75 page code. 
> Mick

  Well I must admit I did try.. gave it my best too I did... in fact Im yet to go to bed its been so trying... but so far Ive only managed to boot it out to 140 pages so Im still working on it... dont worry I'll sort it  :Doh:  I know I was trying to reduce the pages but theres just so much legalize you have to include in such a profound document that I find it impossible 
sigh... Wendy Wendy Wendy  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):  You do realize that Im simply taking the phiss outta you dont you? I mean your a sheila!! (an a pretty sparkly good lookin one by the way... stay outta this boofhead  :Shock:  ahem sorry about that hes okay Wendy must be since hes with you eh!!  :Biggrin:  ) For cripes sake WE ALL KNOW sheilas are weird creatures even those sheilas like your own good self  :Doh:  ... and weirds good  no wukkers me dear!!  :2thumbsup:   You want curtains? You go right ahead and have curtains... heck you want pretty nipple pink shag pile carpet in your shed you have pretty nipple pink shag pile carpet... it is after all  *YOUR SHED!* 
And as such there can be no code violation!! YOU are the master or is that mistress? of your shed  :2thumbsup:   
Me I wouldnt have curtains but then nor would I have pretty nipple pink shag pile carpet in me shed... but then Im a bloke an us blokes are like that  :Wink 1:  Unless your names Bwuthey of course then the mere existance of a Bwuthy in a BLOKES shed is a code violation... but then a Bwuthy type "blokey" person would feel more at ease and at home in a sheilas shed than a blokes shed anyways so... 
Its all good  :2thumbsup:   has my leg vacated me gob yet??  :Shock:

----------


## RufflyRustic

:Biggrin:

----------


## Wild Dingo

That just proves my point made elsewhere... sheilas are evil  :Sneaktongue:

----------


## wonderplumb

A shed's Code of Practice is determined and laid down by the Owner of afore-mentioned shed. The Owner of such a shed shall gain the wisdom and gather information on  acceptible solutions, which shall be included in said Code of Practice, from years of reconnaisance missions to the "Old Mans Shed", where he would have gained valuable knowledge through listening to otherwise secret conversations via a partially opened door or an old bullet hole through the iron sheeting on the walls.
  Information may also be taken in snippets, without arousing suspicion, from a mates Shed, a mate who was fortunate enough to own a shed before yourself.
 You may also take into account things you have seen in various other Sheds on your journeys around the countryside.
  Upon aquiring your own Shed, the Shed shall be personalised to your own tastes.
  You shall draw up your own Code of Practice, which may be displayed or you may take it for granted that any Shed-worthy people you happen to invite into mentioned Shed will posess enough common-sense, and know the Owner of the Shed well enough to respect such formalities. 
Summary.................. 
The Owner of the Shed shall posess the authority to formulate His own Code of Practice, using the basic fundamentals of Shed ettiquite. 
Anyone fortunate enough to visit the Shed, shall comply to the Code of Practice at all times, lest the resultant consequences be decided by the Owner of the Shed.
Any visitor shall replace what he drinks, unless specified said drinks are repayment for a favour, the price of which shall be agreed upon between the two parties.  
In short............
Its my shed, my rules, dont like it, f##k off!!!!!!!!!!!!

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## Cliff Rogers

> A shed's Code of Practice is determined and laid down by the Owner of afore-mentioned shed. ...
> In short............
> Its my shed, my rules, dont like it, f##k off!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Now, now... have you read the code?  :Confused:   
I draw your attention to this section.... 
4.2. The purpose of a shed. 
The purpose of a shed is to provide an environment and territory wherein a bloke has total and complete dominion and control *and is therefore happy.* 
You don't sound very happy.... is somebody violating your code?  :Biggrin:

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## bricks

c o d e  is that what the kids are calling it nowdays

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## Honorary Bloke

> The Owner of the Shed shall posess the authority to formulate His own Code of Practice, using the basic fundamentals of Shed ettiquite.

  Ahh, but in this direction lies anarchy, Grasshopper. For a bloke to develop his own Code is impossible, because then it would not _be_ a Code, just a collection of personal eccentricities. 
The Code of Practice is but the logical outcome of the theory of the Social Contract. The Social Contract is a means by which we can come together to agree what is generally acceptable and unacceptable in any given shed and thus promote the best interests of *all* blokely shed owners. As Hobbes, Locke, and Rousseau argued so cogently, the Social Contract (dare we refer to it henceforth as the Shed Contract? I think so.) is necessary for the successful functioning of society. Without a Shed Contract (let us speak plainly now), a bloke visiting another bloke's shed would be in a constant state of tension, lest he unknowingly violate that shed owner's personal rules. 
Oh ho, but we *do* have the Code. Consider now that the visiting bloke _knows_ what to do and not do and can join in the general camaraderie of the shed without fear of a misstep. What's more, in his _own_ shed, the bloke not only understands his role (which is that of absolute monarch) but also can depend on his subjects (shed visitors) to behave according to the correct protocol. 
So you see, the Code exists for the benefit of the Greater Good and should be embraced in that vein. 
[The above does not, of course, apply to chaps, who are free to write their own rules as no decent bloke would associate with them anyway and other chappies visiting their Space are equally likely to be nongs.] 
There will be a quiz on Thursday.  :Smilie:

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## Cliff Rogers

Struth!!!!  :Eek:   
Go easy Bob... you are starting to sound like (waffle like) bloody Ding.  :Biggrin:  
PS. I did however, read the whole lot & understand it, so maybe you aren't doing that bad yet.  :Tongue:

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## Wild Dingo

> Struth!!!!   
> Go easy Bob... you are starting to sound like *(waffle like)* bloody Ding.  
> PS. I did however, read the whole lot & understand it, so maybe you aren't doing that bad yet.

  Steady up ol fella yer encroachin nigh on to warrin country with them words!!  :Annoyed:  
ahem... I do not waffle... like or otherwise!... I ruminate cogitate extrapolate and generally converse! more often than not with meownself but at times with others... and yes inclusive of your own self Cliffy me boyo! so steady up ol son steady up 
Now... this code... Ive printed of the existing code as it stood back a few pages in time... and Ive sat on the royal throne and pondered its contents... I have spent many MANY friggin hours attempting to reduce the duced words and paragraphs down to a few short succinct ones that could be made into an easily read by any visiting bloke to the shed document that can be laminated framed and hung at eyesocket level in full view of said visitor to shed... but have failed miserably to do so 
Sooo whats to do with this code of practice to make it more bloke freindly? Do we have to make it into a book to have on hand to give to any venturous bloke type sod who may wander through the door of the said shed... in so doing do we say nothing hand them the book point at the moaning chair and shout "READ THAT" and leave them to it? Sounds right rude to me... and knowing most blokes a book like tombe such as has been created in this code would be glanced at and tossed to one side never to be read said bloke would then begin wandering around touching fondling and sneeking drinks from the fridge whilst the owner of the shed would be busy doin stuff... not a good thing in my book 
So we NEED a shortened condensed version that is simple easy and to the point so any bloke would not help but be drawn to reading it... this would then make the rules of the Shed ala the code clear to any visitor to the shed bloke or heaven forbid sheila type... as is well known NO bloke in his right mind will read a document such as this IF he doesnt HAVE to... and a visitor we must agree does not feel any urgency to read ANYTHING 
I therefore submit that someone MUST write a condensed shortened perhaps in point form code of practice for the benefit of all and continued harmony in the shed. 
Now thinking about this I believe it should be on A3 size parchment and framed under glass so as to look mightily officious an serious thus grabbing the visiting blokes attention upon entry... this I feel would stop the visiting bloke in his tracks and draw his attention to the code wherein upon reading the points written therein would behave in suitable fashion... ie: run out of the shed and down to the local rubbetty to pick up the required BEER to replenish the beer fridge stocks... I do think many have not given this one point the attention it deserves which is a sad indictment on those blokes with sheds who have given this code of practice their attention and assistance... sad 
What can be done regarding this matter? 
As for distribution I feel aside from every contributor that has given of their time ruminations eludications and efforts on this the code of practice thread at ubeaut.com.au forums getting a complimentary A3 framed original... this could be signed by all however many contributors (much like the USA constitution eh? very officious indeed!) and sent to them poste haste!... but a copy also should be sent to that shed bloke of shed blokes the shed scientist for him to include with his package when a bloke becomes one of the band of brothers with "good shed" status... thus promote the wholesomeness brilliance and communal nature of "The Shed Code of practice"  :2thumbsup:   
We must at all times strive to help and assist our fellow shedites and this I feel would assist and help a good many new young shedites who of no fault of their own are without a bloody clue with regard shed etiquite and proper diplomacy with regard their sheds... and thus we would be furthering our great forum and its brilliant membership...  
The code of practice document should always include reference to the Ubeaut forum and its members from whence it came  :2thumbsup:

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## Cliff Rogers

> .... I have spent many MANY friggin hours attempting to reduce the duced words and paragraphs down to a few short succinct ones ....

  That doesn't sound like you Ding.  :Biggrin:

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

A condensed version, eh?  Hmmm...  how 'bout:  

> *MY SHED* (Rules & conditions apply)

   :Tongue:

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## Wild Dingo

> That doesn't sound like you Ding.

  Im thinking of others Cliffy mate... some of who have the attention span when it comes to things like rules of an gnat... not even a gnat on heat just a half dead gnat... so Im thinking there should be a shorter version to cater for them blokes you know? 
gawd mate Ive gotta stop worryin about other buggars!! strewth they dont wanna read the book called The Shed.. The code of practice" then tuff shyte sport when I toss em out the damned door!!  :Doh:

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## wonderplumb

> Now, now... have you read the code?   
> I draw your attention to this section.... 
> 4.2. The purpose of a shed. 
> The purpose of a shed is to provide an environment and territory wherein a bloke has total and complete dominion and control *and is therefore happy.* 
> You don't sound very happy.... is somebody violating your code?

  Good Lord no! What was meant by the little swear words is that there is boundaries, and as long as these boundaries are not over-stepped, I have total dominion and control and am therefore happy. Example, my best mate has an awesome shed on his farm, being a former aircraft engineer he has a rather hefty Snap on tool chest. I know without being told, should I happen to find myself within arms reach of said tool chest I risk, at worst a broken arm, at least being banished from the Shed.  A Shed worthy visitor in my opinion has the common sense to know instinctively what the boundaries are.

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## wonderplumb

> Ahh, but in this direction lies anarchy, Grasshopper. For a bloke to develop his own Code is impossible, because then it would not _be_ a Code, just a collection of personal eccentricities. 
> The Code of Practice is but the logical outcome of the theory of the Social Contract. The Social Contract is a means by which we can come together to agree what is generally acceptable and unacceptable in any given shed and thus promote the best interests of *all* blokely shed owners. As Hobbes, Locke, and Rousseau argued so cogently, the Social Contract (dare we refer to it henceforth as the Shed Contract? I think so.) is necessary for the successful functioning of society. Without a Shed Contract (let us speak plainly now), a bloke visiting another bloke's shed would be in a constant state of tension, lest he unknowingly violate that shed owner's personal rules. 
> Oh ho, but we *do* have the Code. Consider now that the visiting bloke _knows_ what to do and not do and can join in the general camaraderie of the shed without fear of a misstep. What's more, in his _own_ shed, the bloke not only understands his role (which is that of absolute monarch) but also can depend on his subjects (shed visitors) to behave according to the correct protocol. 
> So you see, the Code exists for the benefit of the Greater Good and should be embraced in that vein. 
> [The above does not, of course, apply to chaps, who are free to write their own rules as no decent bloke would associate with them anyway and other chappies visiting their Space are equally likely to be nongs.] 
> There will be a quiz on Thursday.

  But using said fundamentals of Shed Ettiquite you are providing a Code of Practice best suited to your local authoritive requirements......
example,
AS3500, National plumbing and drainage code of practice,
NSW Code of Practice for plumbing and drainage, a code of practice which overrides the National code of practice to be better suited to local authoritive requirements, ie Sydney Water for the main part and local council requirements, and still however uses the basic fundamentals of the original Code.
 So you see, its not about eccentricities at all, but submitting clauses into the Code so they best suit your locality, shed design, shed contents and so on and so forth, as every shed is different.

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## Driver

> So we NEED a shortened condensed version that is simple easy and to the point  . . . . .

  I've only just recovered after originally reading this extract from the Wild Westralian Dingo's recent post. I read it several hours ago and, in the period since, I've had a bit of a lie down and a couple of stiff drinks ..... calmed down my colleagues, who were concerned at my health when they found me lying on the floor with tears streaming down my face, apparently gasping for air ..... and brought my pulse rate back to a less excited level. 
However, on mature consideration, I've realised what's been going on. Some bastard who is an extremely skilled plagiarist has managed to overcome Shane and gain control of his computer. He's written this appallingly blatant spoof, brilliantly disguising it so that it looks as if our own Wild Dingo wrote it himself. But he isn't fooling me! No-one who is at all familiar with Shane's posts could ever believe he would want to have a shortened, condensed version of anything. 
So come on, ya bastard! What have you done with Wild Dingo. Eh? If you don't release him before the WW Show on the weekend, a mob of wild woodies will descend on the South West and sort you out. Let him go! You're fooling no-one!

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## Wild Dingo

ME??? Im still me ol son... still the same mad buggar Ive always been  :2thumbsup:   
I just wanted something the damn galahs an wombats that come visiting the shed CAN and WILL read so they dont transgress the flamin code!!  :Annoyed:   
A bloody great tomb of words especially legaleeze type words will throw them totally for a loop IF they even tried to decypher the thing!! I mean its that long and wordy all techno an contractual that an ant pharting will distract them!!  :Shock:   
Such a thing as you SHOULD be aware if you were in fact our ol mate Driver which I for one do not believe is so... and will await stuctural proof of your reality by the way... but you SHOULD be aware that NO BLOKE would even glance sideways at such a document upon entering another blokes shed!! (note the REAL Driver would know this fact) AND no bloke in his right mind expect another bloke who upon visiting said blokes shed would even contemplate asking demanding or beggin said visiting mate by suggesting or demanding them to do so... its just not blokelike!  :No:   
So in the interests of the furthance of good blokeiness an good shed etiquite I suggest that a new REVISED and DOWNSIZED version of the most salient points of the code be created so that the dumb easily distracted buggars have no bloody excuse not to read it!  :Doh:  And hence why I also... IF you had read my posts todate... recommend it be printed on A3 size parchment both laminated and framed and hung in such a place in a blokes shed as to be at eyesocket level (preferably over the BEER fridge or opposite the workbench at eyesocket level this so that NO MATTER WHAT they would HAVE to read it... and being short and to the point its most salient and IMPORTANT points would stick in their minds BEFORE the BEER takes affect! 
As you would be aware of my way of doin things IF you were indeed Driver that ol mate of ours whom we smile upon from time to time would KNOW... I am but offering a suggestion in the best of bloke ways that a change or an alternative be created... I have no need for demand or beseachin I simply suggest in my own particular nice, gentle, succinct and slight way is all  :2thumbsup:   
But it is me behind these words... I on the other hand doubt it is actually Driver behind your own... I in fact believe that your foily is disfunctional and needs be returned to Neil for a replacement for you are showing that you in fact have been infiltrated by either "chaps" or the dreaded "fellows"... this if proven true will have serious repercussions on our said ol mate Driver when the foily has been replaced for he is going to have some serious explaining to do to the brotherhood of blokes!!  :Sneaktongue:

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## Ashore

When the code was being first put together by brother Driver all of the member of this forum being a members of the the best forum on woodworking were asked for their input, this was a long process giving all a chance to add to the collective on what is the code that all sheds should operate under
From the start drother Driver only put all our thoughts together and these grew into the CODE the one document that all woodworkers could live and work by.
BUT NOW in come the OTHERS , those who did not put their responses in when the CODE was being formulated no brothers/sisters those that now try to undermine this great work put together by the ( Now Famous )Brother Driver from the input of the true believers of the CODE to try and soften the edges or elaborate to such a degree that it becomes un usable
Brothers and Sisters unite now the true CODE is the only code rejoice now in its word listen to its message and believe for the truth and the way lies within the code 
Oh and no curtains. :Sneaktongue:

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## Black Ned

Dingo - we have a problem. 
What is the standard "eyesocket level" for this hanging?
As you would be know,  just as there are Dachsunds and Great Danes, there are big blokes and short blokes and blokeses.
We may have to hang a number of signs to cater for the unknown adventurer who may inadvertantly wander in. 
Mr Ashore - Are we talking about a Code of Practice or a Bible?
The Bible we are told to believe here-say and written stories of long past accounts. Do not question the word.
The Code of Practice is an ongoing agreed conformity of Rules of Conduct whilst in heaven on earth - THE SHED.

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## Wild Dingo

Brother Ashore tis not in dispute that the fine brothers and sisters became involved and this I know for I was one of them... I have been interested and contributing to the code since its inseption... indeed Im even named on the present codes list of contributors!  :Shock:  ... which in and of itself seriously and totally shocked me to my core bein the shy retiring quiet sort of bloke that I am... and thus I do verrily understand and appreciate the efforts gone to by brother Driver and the brotherhood to get the said code of practice to its present level of brilliance 
Tis just that some of our brothers and sisters in sheds are kinda short on reading skills when it comes to ginormous books of rules an have no way of fathoming contractual concepts such as our fine brother Driver has laid down in the present code... and yay even if they were capable of understanding the document as it stands they wouldst by their very nature of bein blokes and interested in sheds and the goings on in said sheds would find far to many things to distract them that reading such a fine document would not occur... this then seems a waste of the good brother Driver and the fellowship of brothers and sisters of the hood of the shed time efforts and extrapolation upon all things related to said code of practice 
I as a humble brother in shed and owner of an officially sanctioned and signed "good shed" do simply and humbly ask that the code as its presently writen be condenced so that it can cater for all understanding levels within the brother - sisterhood of shed 
As to the question of eyesocket level... this would be determined by the owner of said shed in which it wouldst hang... for instance said brother Christopha for example wouldst hang said code at eyesocket level appropriate to him and thus from the rafters he being a tool  :Shock:  ...eerrr... ummm... tall sorta bloke  :Blush7:  ...now on the other hand my own code wouldst hang at his knee level for me being a short wheeled based model of blokehood and thus we can see that each shed bloke wouldst hang at a suitable level for themselves and their bloke mates... Actually it would be rather moot once the said code were printed on the A3 sized parchment for no matter the height one wouldst hang it anyone entering said blokes shed wouldst see the parchment and therefore the code in all its glory... for most wouldst with a document of that size hang it at a level that wouldst be at eyesocket level to them which of course wouldst mean that it wouldst at some point be within the parameters of the middle of the wall of said shed thus anyone entering said shed wouldst or rather couldst not miss said code in all its glory!! This dear bretherin wouldst ONLY be effective if the said code could be SEEN AND READ in its simplest form 
Butst dear fellow brothers and sisters of the hood of the shed tis not for mineownself to dictact nor demand such a thing be done but rather to suggest and give reasons for my suggestions... which I now believe has been done. 
Tis up to brother Driver to decide since he was the stu... eer... dum... ummm brillaint? anyway the burke who took the time to write up all the code in all its glory so I leave it to him if he wouldst create a splinter code to enable the dum... stu... moro... mmm... unable to read contractual code lingo brother blokes to be conversant with at least the basics of the code of practice of the shed... and thus be not ignorant of the basic of rules regarding a blokes shed  
nb... blokes in this context is inclusive of those blokes without the blokey bits that wouldst make them actual blokes but instead due to their being without this dangly blokey bits can only remain "honorary blokes" thus they are likened to those other "honorary blokes" from far flung countries where blokes do not exist and are instead considered "pals" and such... tis only upon their being accepted by the members of the brotherhood of the shed from the great land down under that they become if acceptable "honorary blokes" and thus we can see that both forms of honorary blokes are without blokey bits but are upon acceptance by Aussie blokes as "honorary blokes" and no discussion will be entered into!... we the brotherhood of blokes have spoken! be content to be a "honorary bloke" for without the blokey bits and without the bloke accent you can only be a "honorary bloke"... this is not to be sneezed at nor denigrated nor even considered an insult for it is the highest praise indeed and not given lightly! 
You may now get of your knees thank you  :Biggrin:

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## Driver

First of all, it's clear from the length, prose style and tenor of the foregoing post that Shane the Wild Westralian Dingo has regained control of his computer from the imposter. This is a consummation devoutly to have been wished and we are all delighted that he's back. Onya Shane! 
Now then ....  

> Tis up to brother Driver to decide since he was the stu... eer... dum... ummm brillaint? anyway the burke who took the time to write up all the code in all its glory so I leave it to him if he wouldst create a splinter code

  The Code is, of course, not my work but the work of a good many of this esteemed BB's members (including, as he rightly says, the aforementioned Wild Westralian Dingo). My role was merely to edit their efforts. However, I believe that Shane has a point. A short statement of some sort,displayed prominently in the shed is a good idea. How about this: 
Para 5.7 of The Code deals with warning signs. I reckon that an addition to the recommended warning sign about machinery and shoulder-tapping should read:  
"Notice: Anyone entering this shed is subject to The Code of Practice." 
Blokes will understand this instinctively and will behave in an appropriate manner. Non-blokes (a category that includes chaps, SWMBOS and the rest of humanity) will be puzzled by the reference and will ask "What Code of Practice?" This will immediately identify them as non-blokes and thus allow the shed bloke to be on his guard and to take appropriate shed-defending action. What this action might be is up to the said bloke, of course, and will be determined by the exigencies of the specific situation.   

> be content to be a "honorary bloke" for without the blokey bits and without the bloke accent you can only be a "honorary bloke"... this is not to be sneezed at nor denigrated nor even considered an insult for it is the highest praise indeed and not given lightly!

  
As to the status of "honorary bloke" - Shane has hit the nail unerringly upon the scone - as I am sure that honorary blokes like Wendy and Bob Childress will appreciate. 
Col 
(An update to The Code, to include the issue re warning signs, is in preparation and will be available shortly).

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## Groggy

> However, I believe that Shane has a point. A short statement of some sort,*displayed prominently in the shed* is a good idea. How about this: 
> Para 5.7 of The Code deals with warning signs. I reckon that an addition to the recommended warning sign about machinery and shoulder-tapping should read:  
> "Notice: Anyone entering this shed is subject to The Code of Practice."

  A point of logic Mr Driver sir. 
The warning sign would need to be outside, not inside. Or the idea is illogical.

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## Driver

> A point of logic Mr Driver sir. 
> The warning sign would need to be outside, not inside. Or the idea is illogical.

  Groggy, You're right, of course. The outside is undoubtedly both the logical and the sensible place for the notice. (Smartarse!)  :Biggrin:

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## Honorary Bloke

> As to the status of "honorary bloke" - Shane has hit the nail unerringly upon the scone - as I am sure that honorary blokes like Wendy and Bob Childress will appreciate.

  Well, I for one consider it a singular honour. But you wankers had better stop having a go at my window coverings (aka "curtains") or something terrible will happen to your blokely bits. You have been warned!   Kindest regards,  RufflyRustic                             :Wink:

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## Cliff Rogers

Ooooooooo Bob is a Ventriloquist...... I'm impressed.  :Smilie:   :Smilie:   :Smilie:

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## RufflyRustic

Me too  :Eek:   :Biggrin:   
cheers
Wendy

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## Honorary Bloke

> Ooooooooo Bob is a Ventriloquist...... I'm impressed.

   

> Me too    
> cheers
> Wendy

  Did anyone see my lips move?  :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:

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## Driver

As advertised, here is the latest update to The Code. 
It includes:
-  on page 5, a new para: 5.7.4 'Further Note', under _Warning Signs,_  
- on page 7, another new para: 5.13 'Window coverings' 
- on page 31, under _Acknowledgements,_ the addition of Groggy's name as a member of the Drafting Committee, for his useful (and logical  :Wink:  ) contribution to the discussion on placement of the afore-mentioned signage. Onya Groggy! 
As usual, the additional and/or amended text has been highlighted for the benefit of blokes who don't want to plough through pages of The Code they may  (or may not  :Rolleyes:  ) already have read. 
Col

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## Groggy

Driver, someone mailed The Code to me at work the other week, it is gathering a life of its own!

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## Driver

> Driver, someone mailed The Code to me at work the other week, it is gathering a life of its own!

  Amazing! That's the first time I've heard of an email circulating where I know how it originated.  :Smilie:

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

I wonder how long before we see modified versions doing the rounds?

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## Driver

> I wonder how long before we see modified versions doing the rounds?

  Not too long, I imagine.  :Annoyed:   But we'll know, won't we? There is only one Code of Practice!  :Wink 1:

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## Groggy

> Not too long, I imagine.   But we'll know, won't we? There is only one Code of Practice!

  Provided you keep control of the text version and only release PDF you should limit the wannabees a bit.

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## Cliff Rogers

> Provided you keep control of the text version and only release PDF you should limit the wannabees a bit.

  You can download a PDF ripper that will turn it back into flat text in 2 seconds.
If you relly wanted to protect it from editing, you print it out & then scan it back as a picture but there are some bits of OCR software that are getting better now too.

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## Driver

To be honest, it doesn't bother me if someone wants to edit and amend the emailed version. 
You can't prevent it from happening and, anyway, who's to say that the amendments might not be improvements? 
All contributions gratefully received, I reckon. 
Col the Unconcerned  :Wink:   :Biggrin:

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## Cliff Rogers

:2thumbsup:

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## kekemo

Hi Driver & forum readers
I've read through most of the list...first rule...little old fashioned now... were dealing with new generation of "shed"...dwellers....
& for one I am going to embrase the new breed... 
1. let the other partner venture into your domain... they can bring coffee, sandwiches, even bring the phone message down that your waiting on.... let the grandkids visit & see what its like, help encourages & nurture at future talent... 
2. any partner seeing the work you do will be instantly appreciative to the fact that your building furniture (my forte)for your home.....you get more bee's to the hive with sweet honey than vinigar.... 
3. offer to take your partner to the woodshow or does she want a day out with the girls instead.... you watch... the reactions then when "men" become not only considerate but productive towards a common goals...enjoyment of spending money on your tools will become less inhibitored 
4. Main reason... for me.... thats where the happiest days of my life with my partner were ....in our shed.........now he's gone all I want to do is spend time in there.....
For some woman when they lose their partner going back into the mans shed is traumatic.... so men... share your shed.... or at least make the partner welcome.... 
Sorry Driver that's only on rule number 1...... :Rolleyes:  
Perhaps when men are young they should think of finding a partner that enhances all these traits...one who encourages shed time..... may encourage lasting happy marriages.... think its our job in life to pass on some ground rules that are going to ultimately strengthen shed usage..... 
sincerely Kerry...
alias KEKEMO http://groups.msn.com/WOODWORKCountryCottage 
now click on Pictures on sidebar menu..... :2thumbsup:

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## Cliff Rogers

> Hi Cliff & forum readers
> ....      What did I do, what did I do??????     3. offer to take your partner to the woodshow or does she want a day out with the girls instead.... ...    
> 			
> 				I know exactly where she would rather be... they are all inside at present having a nice old girly gossip.     Sorry Cliff that's only on rule number 1......

   :Confused:  What did I do, what did I do??????  :Redface:

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## Cliff Rogers

> As advertised, here is the latest update to The Code......

  Col, this is going to sound picky but, I'm going to point it out anyway. ('cos my computer told me too. ) 
The attached zip is called version A5_6 but it contains version A5_10. 
Now the reason I found this is that I downloaded it to check on what Kerry was on about &, I may be mistaken but, I thought that she was blaming me for the fact that she is, well... a she?  
I have since noted that she has edited her post & changed the blame from me to you....Don't you love it when that happens.  :Biggrin:   
Kerry, I am not sure why you think poor silly old Col is to blame but I would like point out that it was actually drafted by a committee & I direct your attention to Appendix E of 'The Code'.
You will see that at least one of the drafting committee does not have bal... full blokely attributes (what does she scratch while she is thinking  :Confused:  ) & at least one of the drafting committee is an honorary bloke.
This would (should) indicate that you could also apply to join the drafting committee but I would like you to first read Appendices A, B, & C.
Now if you can study up & score better than 24 in the test in Appendix B & promise that you won't ever mention the need for curtains.  :Biggrin:   
You also have to realise that, although you & your dearly departed shared a shed & had good times together in there, you may have been exceptional to the norm.  :Think: 
With all due respects to you & your dearly departed, there is a very high percentage of 'blokes' who use/need the shed as therapy AWAY from their partner(s).  
This is going to be a hoot to read tomorrow, here I am about 9 reds later, at 25 past midnight trying to get into philosophical D&M on marriage guidance & I'm addressing it to a female member who has not long lost her life partner... I am on a hiding to nothing for sure.  :Doh:   
Kerry, lets try a different angle.... do you like shoes?
Do you like shoe shopping?
Do you like &/or wear dresses?
Do you like dress shopping?
Do you like high tea & gossip & & & (digging a hole here  :Redface:  ) 
Do you think that blokes (Appendices A, B, & C type blokes) need to like & want & share Sheila stuff?  :Confused:   
I know you didn't say that they did but, I'm trying to make a point that some Sheilas don't like Bloke stuff & neither should have to endure or ENCROACH on the other's hobbies & passions if they don't share them.  :No:   
Bugger it, I'm starting to waffle.  :Rolleyes:   
This Code started out for Blokes Sheds as a Bloke therapy... there was a Sheila's Shed Code too for a while but it said something along the lines of section 4.2 of this Code. 
Maybe my point is that you aren't classed as 'The Norm'  :Smilie:

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## Driver

> Col, this is going to sound picky but, I'm going to point it out anyway. ('cos my computer told me too. ) 
> The attached zip is called version A5_6 but it contains version A5_10.

  Cliff, you're right of course and therefore deserve to be appropriately acknowledged, publicly. (Smartarse  :Tongue:  ).   

> This is going to be a hoot to read tomorrow, here I am about 9 reds later, at 25 past midnight trying to get into philosophical D&M on marriage guidance & I'm addressing it to a female member who has not long lost her life partner... I am on a hiding to nothing for sure.

  Yerrsss  :No:   :Cool:      

> Bugger it, I'm starting to waffle.

  Yerrss  :Cool:     

> This Code started out for Blokes Sheds as a Bloke therapy...

  Now you're back on track, mate. Couldn't have said it better meself.  :2thumbsup:   
Col the Cautiously Optimistic.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

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## Driver

> Col, this is going to sound picky but, I'm going to point it out anyway. ('cos my computer told me too. ) 
> The attached zip is called version A5_6 but it contains version A5_10.

    

> Cliff, you're right of course and therefore deserve to be appropriately acknowledged, publicly. (Smartarse  ).

  Cliff, 
I'm wrong, you're not, after all, a smartarse  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):  . This is because you're wrong, too.  :Tongue:   Having had another look (because I couldn't recall writing 10 versions of the A5-sized Code) at the zip file  - which is correctly entitled version A5_6  :Tongue:  - I now see that it contains a file entitled 'The Code of Practice_A5_10Aug07'.  
In other words, not version 10 but rather the version that was amended on the 10th of August. :Cool:   
Col the Classifier

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## Cliff Rogers

Right.... let us get picky then....  :Cool:   
In my folder where I stick this stuff, I had a Code of Practice_A5_6.zip & a Code of Practice_A5_7.zip & a Code of Practice_7.zip 
When I went to save the latest Code of Practice_A5_6.zip, the computer complained & I had to tell it to overwrite the older one. 
The Code of Practice_7.zip has The Code of Practice_23Jul06.doc in it & was created on the 23-07-06 & Code of Practice_A5_7.zip has The Code of Practice_A5_21Jun06.doc in it & it was created on 11-02-07 & & &.... 
Are you still listening to me or am I wasting my breath here?  :Biggrin:

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## Ashore

Possable ammendment Col 
" The code shall be that copy last posted by Brother Driver ( or his successor ) in the U-Beaut Woodwork Forum, all other copies to be destroyed and other posted copies of earlier versions of the Code ignored so that the code remains universal and a bloke entering any Shed that is operating under the Code ( see 5.7.4  displaying warning signes ) shall be aware of all rules and regulations pertaining therein " 
Then is simple for all  :Doh:

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## Driver

Er.... fellas 
I reckon the last four posts come very close to Code violations.  :Eek:   I'm not even sure which bit of The Code we might be close to violating but arguing about bloody filenames and versions doesn't seem like blokely behaviour to me.  
Back to the shed, gents. Whaddaya reckon?

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## bricks

I reckon any bloke what needs to argue little teeny clause variations in the code needs a new project.

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## Cliff Rogers

> ...Back to the shed, gents. Whaddaya reckon?

  Cool, I deleted the lot, who's shout is it?  :Tongue:

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## Ashore

Mine if you call in quick , theres a glass of Mudgee 04 hill of gold Shiraz  left  :Biggrin:

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## Honorary Bloke

> Are you still listening to me or am I wasting my breath here?

  Hmmm. This has so many possibilities!  :Rolleyes:   :Biggrin:

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## Cliff Rogers

> Mine if you call in quick , theres a glass of Mudgee 04 hill of gold Shiraz left

  This Computer map reckons it will take 25 hours & 29 minutes so don't drink too fast.  

> _Are you still listening to me or am I wasting my breath here?_

   

> Hmmm. This has so many possibilities!

  You always listen to me Bob.  :Biggrin:

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## Driver

> Cool, I deleted the lot, who's shout is it?

   

> Mine if you call in quick , theres a glass of Mudgee 04 hill of gold Shiraz  left

   

> This Computer map reckons it will take 25 hours & 29 minutes so don't drink too fast.

  ...If you can get to my place before about 7.30 pm WA time this evening, there might be a drop or two left of the bottle of Avon Brae '99 shiraz I opened last night. Bewdiful!! :2thumbsup:

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## Cliff Rogers

> ...If you can get to my place before about 7.30 pm WA time this evening, there might be a drop or two left of the bottle of Avon Brae '99 shiraz I opened last night. Bewdiful!!

  Just checked the flights, can't do it, it would cost me $839 to arrive in Perth 15 minutes too late. 
If I drive without a stop, it is 5,604.15 km 60 hours 39 mins  :Eek:

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## m2c1Iw

> Possable ammendment Col 
> " The code shall be that copy last posted by Brother Driver ( or his successor ) in the U-Beaut Woodwork Forum, all other copies to be destroyed and other posted copies of earlier versions of the Code ignored so that the code remains universal and a bloke entering any Shed that is operating under the Code ( see 5.7.4 displaying warning signes ) shall be aware of all rules and regulations pertaining therein " 
> Then is simple for all

  Hi All,
I have seen references to the Code in a number of posts and up until stumbling upon this thread thought that the members (brothers) where simply applying commonly held attitudes by blokes to a particular circumstance or situation. 
Blissfully ignorant I was to the existence of a document which provides definition and guidance in all things Blokely.
So now while I don't give a toss about my Blokeliness as I have been refered to as a Bloke, good Bloke and even a top Bloke I am troubled by aspects of the existence of said document and wish to defer to the Drafting Committee as to how my concerns might be addressed. 
1. If a Bloke (not me of course) was to committ a transgression as prescribed by the Code what then will be the result. Will there be some punitive action and how or when would it be applied.
2. Does the committee envisage a response according to the degree of transgression, if so will an attempt be made to prescribe both the hierachy of fopah and the resultant penance.
3. As a result of a Bloke being found guily of a serious breach of the Code and any applicable punishment be recommended should the Code encorporate an appeals process. 
Thankyou in advance for your consideration and my congratulations go to the drafting committee on a fine body of work thus far, although youse Blokes should spend more time in the shed utilsing clause 5.17 after committing 7.3 and evoking 7.3.3.4 or perhaps simply 8.1. Hmmm......as should I.  
Regards Mike

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## Driver

> Hi All, 
> 1. If a Bloke (not me of course) was to committ a transgression as prescribed by the Code what then will be the result. Will there be some punitive action and how or when would it be applied.
> 2. Does the committee envisage a response according to the degree of transgression, if so will an attempt be made to prescribe both the hierachy of fopah and the resultant penance.
> 3. As a result of a Bloke being found guily of a serious breach of the Code and any applicable punishment be recommended should the Code encorporate an appeals process.

  1. Depends on what said bloke does and who finds out (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).
2. Nah.
3. Nah. Appeals process? Sounds a bit too chap-like to me.   

> Thankyou in advance for your consideration and my congratulations go to the drafting committee on a fine body of work thus far, although youse Blokes should spend more time in the shed utilsing clause 5.17 after committing 7.3 and evoking 7.3.3.4 or perhaps simply 8.1. Hmmm......as should I.

  True. But it bothers me that you seem so familiar with the relevant paras and sub-paras. You haven't read all of it have you?  :Eek:

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## Wild Dingo

> But it bothers me that you seem so familiar with the relevant paras and sub-paras. You haven't read all of it have you?

  That in and of itself should surely be a transgression brother Driver? As one who reckons the damned things way overly long and full of that foreign lingo called legaleze and so havent actually done the chappy thing and read it from woe to go Id have to concur with brother Wild Dingo and say he has transgressed the code on at least several violations 
Now as to said transgressions and possible punishments... I do feel you may need to include sentancing laws and such? 
AND MAKE THE SODDING THING SHORTER!!!  :Cry:   :Doh:

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## silentC

> MAKE THE SODDING THING SHORTER!!!

  That is an absolute hoot!!

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## Driver

> That in and of itself

  Er, wha?    

> As one who reckons the damned things way overly long and full of that foreign lingo called legaleze

  Expressions like ; 'In and of itself', for example?   

> Id have to concur with brother Wild Dingo

  I'm delighted to learn that you agree with yourself, Ding.   

> Now as to said transgressions and possible punishments... I do feel you may need to include sentancing laws and such?

  At the risk of repeating meself: Nah. Definitely sounds way too chap-like.    

> AND MAKE THE SODDING THING SHORTER!!!     ?

  Gotta agree with silent - that, mate, is an absolute bloody ripper! 
In all seriousness ( :Biggrin: ), it's The Code. It's intended to provide guidance for blokes. It certainly isn't intended to provide some sort of quasi-legal, half-@rsed set of statutes that can be used by nit-picking wankers to inflict punishment on blokes who look like they may have forgotten to behave in an entirely bloke-like manner. 
The minute it starts to be used by the nit-pickers to beat up blokes, that's when this particular bloke calls time and walks away.

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## Skew ChiDAMN!!

I look at it this way:  it's my shed and I'll do what I bloody want in it.  I see no problems whatsoever with _my_ breaking the code _in my shed._ 
However, *being caught* at is a punishable offence and, depending on the severity of the infringement and mood of the forum in general, may result in anything from general taunts and derision by your peers to being denigrated to mere "chap" status. 
In other words, do what you want but make sure there aren't any witnesses!   :Tongue:   (Especially if they're carrying cameras.  Do you _really_ want pix of your frilly curtains being passed around under the counter?   :Biggrin: )

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## Wild Dingo

:Innocent:  Waddidido??  :Kick Can:  
I agree its my shed and if I wanna do this  :Flasher:  in there or this  :Club:  or this	 :Badair:  or heck even if I wanna do this  :Bath2:  or this even  :Tequila:  or pretend to be this  :Viking:  ooops thats right I already do that! anyways whatever I flamin well choose to do in my shed then by gawd an all thats holey I will... cause  :Rule:  my shed 
Sorta like that eh Skewy  :Pat:

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## Cliff Rogers

Give me a shot at it... 
If ya FAQ up, (committ a transgression) ya risk being branded as a 'chap' or a 'dick head' or a 'raving poof' simple. 
Next!

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## Wild Dingo

> Give me a shot at it... 
> If ya FAQ up, (committ a transgression) ya risk being branded as a 'chap' or a 'dick head' or a 'raving poof' simple. 
> Next!

  aaahhh uuummm sorta like your chintz curtains eh Cliffy  :Doh:   :Biggrin:   :Sneaktongue:

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## Wild Dingo

*OKAY I GOTS IT!!*  The Code of Practice 
Condenced version 
For my shed and all within it to be taken particular notice of by:
missus
hoons
visitors
and anyone or thing that enters said shed 
1) It is MY SHED 
Do NOT argue with this FACT!! 
2) Dont like it... LEAVE (use of other expleatives acceptable as you determine appropriate) 
Do NOT argue with this FACT!! Just walk away 
3) You come into MY SHED you do as I say not as you want no arguments no discussion 
I AM GOD OF MY SHED!! I RULE!! 
4) If you want to stay DONT STAND STILL doing nothing! 
Sanding is always good! And YOU get the BEER!! 
5) WHO ARE YOU? GET OUT OF MY SHED!!
I think I can get that nice an clear onto an A3 sheet  :2thumbsup:

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## m2c1Iw

> I look at it this way: it's my shed and I'll do what I bloody want in it. I see no problems whatsoever with _my_ breaking the code _in my shed._ 
> However, *being caught* at is a punishable offence and, depending on the severity of the infringement and mood of the forum in general, may result in anything from general taunts and derision by your peers to being denigrated to mere "chap" status. 
> In other words, do what you want but make sure there aren't any witnesses!  (Especially if they're carrying cameras. Do you _really_ want pix of your frilly curtains being passed around under the counter? )

  Ah…..as I suspected the Code while now existing in the written word the said document has not changed the time honoured practice of taking the pi$$. :Rolleyes:  
For those that experience brain fade and are identified as having strayed from accepted Blokely practice a reminder is extended to observe the Code. The reminder should take the form of a swift retort of a witty nature that should cause the transgressor embarrassment commensurate with the extent of chap like behaviour. It should also produce a response from nodding approval to substantial guffawing from those Blokes present. 
No further clarification required. :Biggrin:

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## Cliff Rogers

> aaahhh uuummm sorta like your chintz curtains eh Cliffy

  Struth.... I had to look chintz up, still not sure I get it.  :Confused:

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## Black Ned

All transgressors will hereby be referred to as :Redface: 
"A Big Girl's Blouse"

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## Honorary Bloke

> Struth.... I had to look chintz up, still not sure I get it.

  Don't be thick, Cliff.  :Rolleyes:  Ask Wendy if you dont know.  :Biggrin:

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## Cliff Rogers

Wendy's curtains are lace... :Rolleyes:  
I suspect that Ding is referring to the ones that Silent spotted in a picture of my shed.... :Cool:

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## Wild Dingo

> Wendy's curtains are lace... 
> I suspect that Ding is referring to the ones that Silent spotted in a picture of my shed....

  Silent wasnt the only one who noticed those lovely chappy type curtains Cliff  :Wink 1:  I mean you might have had a tree through the shed which is a pretty good blokey type thing but the curtains? definanly forever brands you a chappy type  :Sneaktongue:   :Biggrin:   
Lace chintz whatever!!! Flouncy pouncy curtains!!... you know what I meant yer yob!  :Doh:

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## Cliff Rogers

> ...Lace chintz whatever!!! Flouncy pouncy curtains!!... you know what I meant yer yob!

  I still have them, they are exactly where they were 7 months ago.  :Biggrin:

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## Driver

> *OKAY I GOTS IT!!*  The Code of Practice 
> Condenced version 
> For my shed and all within it to be taken particular notice of by:
> missus
> hoons
> visitors
> and anyone or thing that enters said shed 
> 1) It is MY SHED 
> Do NOT argue with this FACT!! 
> ...

  Ding, I'm impressed! This is very good work (short, too!). Have a greenie!

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## Wild Dingo

> I still have them, they are exactly where they were 7 months ago.

  Dont tell me you still havent fixed the shed Cliff?  :Doh:  Strewth even Im not that slow!!  :Biggrin:  
You do realize the best place for those things is 
in the bin!!  :2thumbsup:  
Driver mate I know... sometimes Im a bloody wonder eh!  :Sneaktongue:  cheers for green one ol son... whatsa comesa rounda musta onea day come back!!  :2thumbsup:  you'll get yours ol fella!  :Wink 1:

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## Pat

But, Shane canot say he is slow, as he still has not had the power put on to his shed . . . . :Biggrin:  
My window covering is a sheet of Auscam material, doubled up and semi stuck up with speed tape. One day I'll wake a few screws thru to hold it properly.

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## Wild Dingo

> But, Shane canot say he is slow, as he still has not had the power put on to his shed . . . .

  Nah Im not slow... I KNOW Im not slow... Im friggin dribbling along!!!  :Doh:  Every time I think "YEAH Im gonna get power you friggin little ripper" she... her bloody highness... that other gender person I share my flamin life with... yeah her she comes along and decides "oooh no you dont need power you have a long lead you can use no I need some more material fat quaters cotton needles WHATFRIGGINEVER!! and thats that... sadly I think its gonna come down to me say nothin and the leccy just showin up one day while shes out and wiring the shed on the quiet  :Wink 1:    

> My window covering is a sheet of Auscam material, doubled up and semi stuck up with speed tape. One day I'll wake a few screws thru to hold it properly.

  sshhhh dont wake the screws man!!! leave em asleep dude!  :Biggrin:   :Biggrin:  I actually think you bein a boofhead and all that you said that on purpose right? yeah we know too much of that hippy yippee yaya weed for Pat boy  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):  and now you think you want to wake the screws but REALLY PAT... You dont really WANT to wake them do you? think theyre gonna be happy with a boofhead wakin them? why would you do that? to screw the auscam stuff to the metal? SCREW THAT!!! You leave them buggars alone yer wombat!! 
Ahem thankee kindly fellas... Glad I could be of assistance  :2thumbsup:   
ps... note to boofhead... leave the hippy yippee yaya weed alone mate it will mess with yer head  :Sneaktongue:   :Biggrin:

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## Cliff Rogers

> Dont tell me you still havent fixed the shed Cliff?  Strewth even Im not that slow!! ....

  Nope, working on the renos on 2 houses.... :Rolleyes:   

> But, Shane canot say he is slow, as he still has not had the power put on to his shed . . . ......

  My new shed is almost 3 years old & still doesn't have power yet.... it is just for storage at this stage.  :Cool: 
I needed to use my router table to make a couple of cuts in 2 bits of skirting board & the teable is stored in the new shed... rather than dig it out & drag it up to the shed that does have power I wheeled the generator down to the new shed, fired it up, made the cuts & wheeled in home again... It was easier.  :Shrug:   :Biggrin:

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## Pat

Don't you love when you post under the influence (of Alcohol) I meant Wack, not wake :Biggrin:  
I just stay with the beer, it makes my silly enough :Drink Nl:   :Cheers2:   :Tequila:

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